note, goodbye

a suicidal, alcoholic's ramblings before an overdose

make no mistake, 

This is not a suicide note.

though, indeed, I intend for it to be read after my hypothetical passing.

should it be a car accident, 

a fall through an unstable building, 

some combination of 

pills,

alcohol,

blood loss,

i sense my death will be untimely and unseemly.

This is not a suicide note. 

because of my intentions more so than anything. 

whatever happens 

tonight, 

tomorrow,

five years from now 

it will not be suicide.

i will not kill myself.

i will not cower at 

the pain,

sadness,

of life.

i will not intentionally end this gift 

given to me by god. 

but that does not mean

that I will fight for it.

do not cry for me now 

if you did not before. 

i take responsibility for my actions 

in their entirety.

i blame not 

my mother

my friends

my counselors. 

if I, although quite unlikely,

am killed at the hands of another,

i blame them not. 

my life was�" 

mine to keep, 

mine to cherish, 

mine to protect. 

i did not. 

This is not a suicide note.

Author's Note

this is my first poem... ever i believe? umm I hope you like it but please be honest with me