Feeling

"Feeling the truth with emptiness"

Feeling too low

Like a bird too slow

I want to break

Like a mist to take

 

I have the feel

That I want to greed

Greed for love

That will never shrug

 

And I want to show

Which I never have to bow

This one is endless

With a feel of helpless

 

I wasn't like this

Who put things on fist

I made my own world

With tips all curled

 

They can show the features

Which I put on preachers

I announced the universe

That I'll never disperse

 

I had those words

Which were my swords

But now I laying

With a feel of playing

 

Playing with my life

Trying with my eyes

I want to tell the truth

But I never FEEL the soothe.

Author's Note

Wrote this in just 15 min.
That time was Feeling too low, so just wrote it....
Please do comment!!!!!

Reviews

[Emilee Grimm]

Wow 15 minutes is not that long. i sincerely like it. You must have been feling alot of emotion during those 15 minutes. I can understand it, though... sometimes the best writing comes in a short period of time. My favorite part:
"Playing with my life
Trying with my eyes
I want to tell the truth
But I never FEEL the soothe"

[Enigma]

And intense poem with an obvious outpour of emotions. Wonderfully written.

"I want to tell the truth
But I never FEEL the soothe" - My favourite lines.

Great job. :D

[Author Rucha Joshi]

This one is so deep and pouring all your feeling in such a less time is very unique and artistic about you. I loved this

[Prateeksha Khot]

for a 15 min work, it truely is great

[Akshat♥]

i liked this line.."I want to tell the truth, but I never feel the soothe'...greed for love has to be there.so you feel helpless...when nthing gose right...everything becomes a mess...nicely written:)

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. Formed venting.

[Richard Williams]

There are some elements of this that are fine, others not so. Your sincerity is obvious. Keep on writing, hone your skills.

[Sarah J. Kelleher]

"Greed for love"... My favorite line. This almost makes me nostalgic, back when I wrote poetry during the time of my parent's divorce. Our best poetry, I believe, comes when we've reached our emotional limits. The ones we're most proud of aren't the ones we worked our butts off on; it's the ones that came out of us like running water. Very well written. :)

[Art]

so many thoughts are written in short moments...

[KatiePie]

"I have the feel
That I want to greed
Greed for love
But now I laying

and

With a feel of playing
Playing with my life
Trying with my eyes"

Were my favorite lines, I lihe the flow of the whole thing, it was easy going and yet it made a strong point. Thank you for sharing!