The jail

Steven's world turned upside down, when he saw her for the first time. Getting her to see him for he really was, that was the hardest challenge.

“The jail”

 

(by Grace Diaz)

 

 

 

My name is Steven Messa, a thirty-five years old man, dark hair and brown eyes. Not that looks ever mattered to me, especially not at this point, not in this place.

 

I have been in this place so many years, that I already lost count. This has been my permanent residence ever since the night of the accident. Ironically, I was the one who got the worst sentence, even though I was innocent.

 

 

The jail was lonely, cold and plain heartbreaking.

At first family and friends came to visit me regularly, after a while they just stopped coming.

My only company were the other inmates, who mostly kept to themselves in fear to be misjudged.

 

Day by day I stood behind the bars in the garden, watching people passing by, not turning their heads for once, ignoring us.

 

 

The neighborhood, the city, the world, they all have changed to much since I got locked up. I couldn’t recognize it anymore.

Sometimes I wondered if my friends still get together every Friday to enjoy a beer at the bar, just how we used to do.

The only friend of mine who came to see me a few times was Gerard, he wasn’t part of my ‘party group’, since he was always quite and shy, but I guess he was the only one who didn’t forget about me.

 

I missed my parents, my home, my family; I even missed the people from the office.

I haven’t celebrated a birthday, Christmas or New Year’s Eve since I lost my freedom.

 

The nights were long, restless, and empty. I enjoyed taking walks in the garden during the day, anything was better than my dark and cold jail cell.

Sometimes I wished I could have had a piece of paper and a pencil, to pour my feelings, but that was not possible.

 

As the world kept turning, nonstop, it seemed like time had been frozen in here. The same boring every day routine could have made anyone lose their minds.

Nothing really happened, until one morning when everything changed.

 

It was the month of July, I can’t remember what year, a beautiful summer day ahead, when I saw her for the very first time.

Her black lose hair, her green emerald eyes and her graceful walk made her look like she had come out of a fairy tale.

Of course, she didn’t even see me, she was lost in a different world.

 

 

From that day on she would delight me with her presence, always at eight o’clock, always looking breathtaking.

She wouldn’t look at me, or be aware of me, but it was still worth it to stand there as an invisible man, just to see her.

I used to imagine how it would be to be able to ask her out, to share a coffee with her, and get to know each other, to learn about who she is; to get to know her heart. My reality was so different from hers, that I knew winning her love was out of my reach.

My home and my sentence would be reasons enough for her to run away from me.

 

My situation never stopped me from adoring this woman from a distance, to wish I could walk by her side holding her hand. More than anything I wish I was a free man, free to love her, free to dream of a life with her.

 

 

None knew about my ‘platonic love’, none even suspected that I was falling madly in love with her, with her smile, her bright eyes, with the vibes she passed when she was around.

Delicate and gracious, she would dress with the most elegant clothes and shoes.

Some days she would be speaking on the phone the entire time she was here, some other she would stay inside her own protecting bubble. She didn’t even notice me.

 

Thanks to her, my days turned brighter, a smile reappeared on my face after a long time.

How absurd my heart was, to have never loved a woman when I was a free man, and to fall deeply in love with this now when I was in between the highest walls, when I had nothing else to offer besides an endless sentence.

 

 

 

Among all the people who shared this dreadful home with, there was Patrick, a sixty years old man who own a life sentence and a broken soul. He was my friend, and the one I shared talks with occasionally.

 

One afternoon I decided to confess my feelings about this woman to him, he laughed in my face.

“Don’t get you hope too high, young man!” he said as he placed a hand on my shoulder “We are the ones who are ignored, forgotten, feared. Society rather look away than waste their precious time on us, we’re nobodies”

 

“I hope one day she would see me for who I was and not as the shadow I became since I came to this place”

 

“Believe me, my friend” he added “You would need a miracle for that to happen. Your chances are not good at all”

His words hurt, but deep down I knew he was right.

 

 

Summer ended and autumn began, to be followed by a crude winter.

All the flowers in the garden died, the trees were left naked and confused. The jail only got emptier, sadder, more isolated.

The author of my smile continued to come, once a week during the coldest times, still would bright up my entire day.

 

 

One morning I saw her coming from the gates, she was holding a black umbrella to cover her from the incessant rain.

Another woman called her from outside “Laura, wait!”

Finally, the protagonist of my dreams had a given name.

She turned around to look at the other one but didn’t say a word.

 

“Don’t come anymore!” the other woman, who was about Laura’s aged said “Why do you visit him? He never did anything good for you!”

 

Laura finally had something to say “I know, but I just want to be in peace with myself, I want to tell him that he’s forgotten for all the wrongs he’s done”

 

“Don’t you think it’s too late now?”

 

“It’s never too late, Leticia!”

 

“What makes you think he will listen now?”

 

“Deep inside him, I know the man who was before he left us, is still there”

 

“I can’t change your mind, so I’ll wait for you outside”

 

Laura turned around and kept walking, I carefully followed her.

She stood in front of Frank’s cell. Frank was a strange and quite man, who never said a word to anyone, and always seemed consumed with guilt. The only thing we knew about him is that he gave himself into drugs, that led him to commit a series of crimes. His sentence was a bad as ours.

 

For several minutes Laura spoke nonstop to her father, who kept his head down the entire time.

By the time she turned to leave, he tried to reach out to caress her hair, but she moved away. She kept walking, not looking back.

I kept an eye on her, she was crying, it broke my heart to see her that devastated, I wish I could have shelter her in my arms.

 

 

Days and nights passed by; Laura didn’t come for some time. Frank wouldn’t leave his cell, he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, he became even more isolated.

 

 

I missed seeing her every day, I missed her eyes, her smile, her timeless beauty.

 

 

One of the last days of winter, the woman who had stolen my heart, came back.

She wore a black coat to her knees, her hair was in a ponytail, her red lipstick traced a weak smile.

She stopped to speak with the security guard, not taking her eyes from her father’s cell for a minute.

Frank looked anxious to see her, but to disappointment, that didn’t happen.

Laura left without making his wish come true.

 

That was the last time Frank saw his daughter before he was taken away, to be judged for his acts. A judge read his crimes right before he was gone. The man had done many terrible things, I was shocked to hear them all.

 

That same morning, I saw him leaving his cell for good, to be taken away, right into the flames of justice.

 

 

Patrick was the next to go. He left with a soft smile on his lips, no regrets of any kinds, because in his heart he knew he was innocent. He was taken without any chains, right to the back door, where the sun always shone. My good friend was finally free!

 

Summer arrived again, and with it, the pleasure of having Laura back.

She came often to see her friend, her smile was clear, relaxed.

 

Those days magical, just by the sight of her. Even though she would not notice me, as usual, just seeing her would bright up my soul, making me forget for a moment about my cruel destiny.

 

One of those glorious days, I decided to talk to her, to introduce myself. Long enough I had waited, it was time for me to do it.

Anxious, I counted the minutes until she came. I wished I had had the chance to have a change of clothes, or a nice haircut, but all that was way out of my reach.

 

And there she was, in a white long dress, lose hair, sunglasses and all full of glory. She looked angelical!

 

I stood by my cell, because I knew she would pass by it, and I just let my soul lead the way.

I smiled like I had not smiled in years “Good morning, Laura!” I said with a firm but soft voice.

 

Laura kept walking without even turning, ignoring my words, like I didn’t exist.

“Perhaps she didn’t hear me” I tried to comfort myself

 

By the time she was leaving, I tried my luck again. “Goodbye, Laura!”

Once again, she ignored me.

 

I felt defeated, mad, weak; all because of her actions. The saddest part was, I loved her even more.

 

Days kept passing by, Laura ceased to come often. The times she came, I just watched her from a safe distance.

 

 

Five winters passed, I was still waiting for my trial. It was beyond my understanding why it was taking that long.

 

On a sunny afternoon in the first week of spring, I saw her coming. Wearing a white dress, almost to her ankles, bare feet, lose hair and a wide smile. I could see such peace reflected on her face.

 

She looked to the sides and above her shoulder to check who was walking with her.

Her friend Leticia wore all black, and so did most of the people who followed her.

I got closer, eager to get her attention. She finally turned to look at me.

“Hello” I said “My name is Steven”

“Nice to meet you, Steven. I’m…”

“Laura, I know. I was waiting for you!”

 

She looked bemused “Waiting for me? How come? Do you know me?”

“A little, from watching you all through the years; when you visited your father, and then your friend”

Laura smiled softly “Well, now I’m here to stay”

“I don mean to be indiscreet, but what brough you here?”

“A search for inner peace, that I can now say I have found” she moved away from the crowd “With a bit of help from some pills”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!”

She placed a hand on my shoulder “Don’t be! I feel free now”

 

I gently took her hand “Come, I have something I need to tell you”

 

We walked away, to the gardens, where I confessed my feelings for her. I dared to ask her to let me be her company in such fearful place, to what angels call purgatory, I call it jail.

 

Laura kissed my lips sweetly “We got a lot of time to get to know each other. I’ll stay by your side Steven. And I’ll learn to love you”

 

  

 

Finally, my judgement day arrived, the angels told me I was going to a place where the sun always shone and flowers never died, when sadness didn’t exist and where I would always feel free.

These beings could not comprehend my decision to stay behind, but they respected my will.

It was in that moment when I changed my newly wings for a chance at love with her.

 

 

Laura never left my side; she always took such care of my soul. Our love only grew with every passing day and night.

I didn’t need heaven, because with her, I had found my very own piece of paradise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The end