Channeling

Check out 'Here in my Room' by Incubus. It's not as important to the flow, but it's a crucial detail to this story.

You’re sitting naked on my chair-couch,

kind of like a couch but shaped like a chair

It’s blue and Incubus is playing in my

apartment - I’m in my underwear.

 

We’ve been playing it over and over,

waiting for the 'Spirits' in your head to

interject and tell us what to do.

 

Your olive skin is lighter on your collarbone.

Three goldfish lie at the bottom of the tank.

‘I told you not to wash it out with soap,’

I say, but before you even speak I know

it was a big mistake.

 

You cross your legs and sage filters through your

folded arms. You listen carefully. I watch you.

You catch me watching and narrow your eyes.

I can’t take them off you. I don’t even notice that the

thermostat reads ninety-nine degrees.

 

‘You tell me. What are they saying to you?’

I frown. ‘They… aren’t saying much,’

but you ignore this. ‘Tell me!’ you insist,

‘what do the Spirits want for us to do?’

I drop down on the couch

next to an empty box of pizza.

 

The song is ‘Here in Our Room’,

and it’s mournful. For some reason you demand this

song whenever you need a message or to ‘channel’,

and for some reason I prefer it too.

The blinds are closed and the sage is getting thick.

I’m not even hungry. It’s cozy here.

 

 

A freighter blasts its horn in the song.

I shiver. Sometimes I sing this part in the

bathroom when you’re not right there. You're waiting.

‘Okay,’ I murmur. ‘I’m trying’. The battles of traffic

echo outside, and I can sense the 

rush hour haze.

 

‘Okay.’ I look into your eyes. They are wide and starved.

‘They’re saying a lot of stuff. About us, they want us 

to go out to dinner more’. 

You jerk your head and

drag a little ‘no’ through the air,

like a teddy bear by its leg, and it’s so

gentle.

 

I slip over a pile of your drafted letters and cross to you.

I sink right into the chair-couch next to you, squished in like

a bruise. Your body is stiff. 

You giggle, all of a sudden.

‘They’re saying that I should leave.'

 

I lean forward to the laptop and set the iTunes dial back.

‘No.’ I say. The streets are quiet now. ‘They’re channeling.

Yes. They say

you should stay for a few more months,

and also that

we should get more fish’.

The sage drifts and burns out on my counter.

You narrow your eyes.

Author's Note

Disregard the line spacing, just keep reading it until the logical end of a sentence or thought.

Reviews

[Miss Marlette]

You create the scene very well here.
Two people in a relationship trying hard to be on the same wavelength? But do they have to try that hard...? They seem unsure...like a game of -go figure. A perfect picture created there, I can feel the undercurrent of emotion.

The noise outside was a bit distracting for all the meditation goin on. :)

A 100 fishes. Liked a lot ;)

[Thaddius]

thank you sincerely for the kind words. An 'undercurrent' is exactly what I was going for. I wanted to show what was going on and not once reference an actual emotion. I think Hemingway does this a lot, I haven't read him since high school but he's next in my reading lineup. So many poems indulge in emotion, so I like the idea of going the other way, like presenting a Grecian bust through the mold, painting a scene through what is and isn't said and what swarms through the in-between space..

[Miss Marlette]

Great writing is all about allusion.Paint the picture and leave it to the reader. great. In this you succeed here.

Hey you are welcome :)

[Kristina Moulaison]

This is really good work...captivating. Skillful use of conversation amid prose. Great imagery...good story in poetic form. Love the sage, the teddy bear dragging no, the idea of channeling and secrets and the subtle nuance of complex emotions between the two characters.

[Thaddius]

Again, a very 'on it' review. The nuances in the dynamic between them was the major goal

[Thaddius]

thank you so much

[Rasa]

First off, let me confess to having heard the song after reading the title in your poem. It seems an apt companion for a sensual seance. The poem to me feels like a welcome haunting of dead relationships. An ethereal moment that is forever etched in memory because of the retelling. As a fellow aspirer, I congratulate and envy you the ability to paint pictures with your words.

[Thaddius]

'welcome haunting of dead relationships' - what a wonderful way to look at it. It certainly works on that level, and who am I to say - it isn't mine anymore. There are 'secrets' in this piece and I love how they manifest differently for each person. Thanks for the nice words

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poem. I like the situation and the communication. I like the way you describe each part of the poem. Giving purpose to the fish, sage and reasons to hold on to something. You create good vision by strong description. A nude woman and almost nude man have nothing to hide. I did like the ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poem. You know how to make words and thoughts come alive.
Coyote

[DaniElle LaPointe]

Your spacing is fine. I dislike the brackets.
I want to suddenly, perfect the art of ''dragging a no'' through the air.

[Thaddius]

I'm sure you have it down. I made the brackets (we call them parentheses in the US) disappear. It maybe made it self-conscious, or at least was visually distracting. I cut out the fish line in the 3rd to last paragraph, to make the end more powerful. And made her whisper into a giggle, because that's what it actually was

[Meraki]

You painted a scene in my head with this. Wonderful job. By the way I listened to the song awesome, is that song what inspired this?

[Thaddius]

it's based on real events.

[Thaddius]

thanks for liking it!

[Meraki]

Oh, no the pleasure is mine

[L4rn13]

A lovely piece like recalling a memory. Very nice keep it up.

[Chloe]

Very deep. Excellent work