The Fortress and the Bust

Fortress-light glinting,

I'm a bust.

Stony from the hillside,

perched surveyors post,

the rocks sprawl out like comets,

roasted on creation days,

the sanded solar panels,

and the boxy nerve, ignites!

 

Live-action Lincoln logs, disgust!

Design un-leavens settled dust

consigns unlikely likeness,

lusty rebel, into rust and rubble,

and unrest.

 

I wonder if I froze the day

the sun emerged,

or was born a bust

but cast in darkness,

and when it rose

its toying rays appraised me

for an absence

of the light

and each day I urge the sun

to blind me back to

lack of substance

black existence,

non-existent night.

 

I long for days before there was a sun,

before I was a bust in the

shadow of a fortress.

Reviews

[Dulce]

I really love reading your poem Thaddius. :) Thats an awesome poem! Very good job ;)

[Harmony]

lusty rebel, into rust and rubble,
and unrest.

These lines display beautifully the transience - and consequently, the futility - of all human accomplishments, no matter how great or small. A quotable line indeed!

Great use of metaphors in the poem. The bust's dissatisfaction with a life lived perpetually in the shadows; his longing for, and simultaneous disgust of, the sun for the injustice done to him, comes across beautifully. Though-provoking and touching. Well written!

[M.A.Rathore]

The opening lines are so impressive comparing metaphorically
"Fortress-light glinting,
I'm a bust.
Stony from the hillside,
perched surveyors post,
the rocks sprawl out like comets,
roasted on creation days,
the sanded solar panels,
and the boxy nerve, ignites!

How the origin of the earth with that of man busting to have a fortress-like glint that suffered much to get this status. Using natural beauty the poet lets us know how his nerves ignated to have a birth .

Live-action Lincoln logs, disgust!
Design un-leavens settled dust
consigns unlikely likeness,
lusty rebel, into rust and rubble,
and unrest..

Though this stanza is more wordy for me yet it express some unrest for for work done.

I wonder if I froze the day
the sun emerged,
or was born a bust
but cast in darkness,
and when it rose
its toying rays appraised me
for an absence
of the light
and each day I urge the sun
to blind me back to
lack of substance
black existence,
non-existent night.

This stanza some beautiful description worthy to love and close to nature.

I long for days before there was a sun,
before I was a bust in the
shadow of a fortress.

Then the last line is a strong desire for regeneration as being a sunny days before his bust.
I really enjoy your reading. Hope this will make you for more better writings. Please do read some of my poems and provide your critical rewiews...Have a nice time...
-M.A.Rathore

[Luna Lucretia Lawson]

I like this poem very much, its interesting and Unique. Well done

[periwinkle]

The wordings are nice! Uniquely written. Keep this up! I hope that I could read some fantasy like poems from you

[The Representative]

All it can take is one word, and the form of perception of what's written overall can get substantially altered.


The context that hooks me is to do with the sun.