A Darker shade of Ku

     tears in broken wind

       a Skylark mutes it's singing

     night falls,

                   night falls ;

  

                                     alone

            -

  

    heart of the sparrow

       heavier than feather and flight

     grounded in snake grass

            -

     a raindrop got lost

       found itself on cold dirt ground

     E  Vap  O  Rat  Ing

       ( dreaming )

            -

     the blue haiku blues

       a double edged sword, Satori,

     lost in sound and noise,

            -

     a broken used husk

       " but the haikus are flowing"

     was the best thought , spent

            -

     incandescent bull 

       furious poetry consumed ( a )

     blind rage stampede earth

            -

     the dark night twisted

       inside out upon (upon ) itself

     in scorn and mid night

                              (mind )

            -

     the cherry blossom dies

       petals lost      =     falling moon dust

     like snow/

                      like zen -  /

                                            like ...

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant, even tho you cheat & break all the rules & clog a clean line with punctuation noise that's so opposite the desired haiku simplicity. Yes, you've thrown some serious shade on the haiku purists around here, no doubt! The title took me a while, but when it dawned, it was a jolt of brightness. Very rarely do I read haiku that doesn't bring attention to the fact that it's haiku. This reads like your usual unstructured writing style & I applaud you not allowing the form to drive the mood or message (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[gram linski]

thanks, Margie, not sure what you mean about breaking rules, haha, glad you enjoyed, always appreciate your time, hugs back at ya, happy new year

[Chris Shaw]

I am a huge fan of Haiku. I just love how much can be conveyed in seventeen syllables. I wholeheartedly approve of what you have done here and I don't care if you break the rules as long as I like what I am reading. I guess I am a haiku purist, but this is so creative and conveys emotion and beauty in a different, but still gorgeous way. Hope you are OK gram.

Chris

[gram linski]

hey, Chris, I am a fan of your haiku, as you know I just like to give a little twist haha, but i am grammatically correct, take care

[AJNJ]

The first two and the penultimate Haikus took my breath away and I compliment you on these most beautifully, differently written set of Haikus! A fantastic title too! To me this is the height of creativity!

[gram linski]

always appreciate your comments, Mr A, glad you enjoyed my sad attempts at zens simplicity and complexity

[jacob erin-cilberto]

A darker shade of Ku but a Whiter Shade of Pale...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I agree with everything Margie said...
Violating the strict poetry rules is fun, isn't it?
Dickinson did that a lot...she thought rules were there to be violated.
Your Ku is wonderful....2nd and 3rd ones are my favorites.
E Vap O Rat ing is a 10 out of 10
for these...and what I like most is that they are about nature like normal haiku...but they are
filled with angst, rough edges...not the typical beautiful nature stuff.