Insomnia makes me realize.

with the taste of starvation in my stomach,

and my arm dry and itch from scars still healing,

I feel the most alive here in the early hours before

dawn. Here when I am alone in my house

except for my dog and maybe a mouse, I feel like

I am as alive as anyone walking around in the sun.

With the moonlight filtering in my window

from the trees in my yard, I can hear the crickets

singing, I can feel my world rejoicing..

I can feel my body reaching out to the world

surrounding me. I am falling slowly, falling in love

with life all over again. How is this happening..?

I am still not over you, still not done mourning

the new hole you have placed in my life,

but I am moving on. I know I am about to be

okay. I can almost see myself falling asleep tonight

without any new scars. Without any nightmares,

waking up not screaming but instead refreshed

and ready. I am not depressed right now, which

is catching me off guard. And as my arm

itches and I am forced to scratch, I realize

that it may be the time to kick away this

old habit.

 

Author's Note

This is me working out stuff in my head, the closest you can get to my actual thought process, enjoy? Maybe?

Reviews

[Collette]

Aw, I love this stream of consciousness. The beauty in healing, but also the slow pain. I enjoyed the way your lines continuously flow into the next...very snap-worthy!
My favorite lines, by far:

I can feel my body reaching out to the world

surrounding me. I am falling slowly, falling in love

with life all over again. How is this happening..?

Love it! good job.

[Drew Wade]

I really liked this. it's so different from your usual style.. it's like a free range of ideas and internal rhyming and a glorying in the world that I'm so happy to see.. I love fog in the morning!!!! I know this poem had nothing to do with fog in the morning, but it reminded me of that feeling.

[kaycee]

this was so beautiful, i nearly cried. i know those moments...the ones where you feel truly alive. beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!

[The Mad Prophet]

(Oh I love this game, the game were I guess what type of person you are.) This poem tells me alot more then you think, I see you are hurt after loosing someone. It keeps you up, and fills your heart with pain, pain you endured for a long time and got used to. It even sounds like you have older pains that makes this new one just as intense. That one night must of freed you, and yes I know how that must of felt. A new sense of balance, as the Night life filled your heart. Void began to set in, as you became one with your new sensation. It doesn't always last, but it is good to have when you have it.


Very well writen, very well done.

[Hedra Helix]

beautiful, its like I can step inside your shoes, see out of your eyes.

delicate and lyrical and brave say whats real type thought/voice. Makes me excited to read more, sometimes I forget to eat/sleep/ if im drifting, creating, trying to search out my solidity.

night time is when the energy is freed from the daytime ratrace.

[Lexy]

Insomnia SUCKS. Actually, you're lucky that the crickets don't bother you. They're part of why I can't sleep at night. Good job! (and good for you for kicking the habit ;))

[Penny Ellen]

I enjoyed. It was sad, yet hopeful. Great job!

Penny

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Well written! Insomnia I have it all the time. Thank you for sharing. Debileah