So this is it.

So. This is it right?

After spilling out my guts,

                and laying myself bare.

                                this is it.

completely and totally empty here.

With the constant reminder of how close

I felt. Of how much I just wanted to

stay with you. Hang around with you.

Talk with you.

 

                anything. Everything.

 

and now you’re gone.
Poof. nothing.

 

just an odd left over [love] note of a poem

and my heart hurting more than it should be.

                                I just want to take it back.

because I just

       want you back.

this can’t be it. but there isn’t much

I can do now. I can just sit here

and have my heart break.

                       whatever.

 

                I shouldn’t even have started anything.

shouldn’t have sat there into late nights

and shivered in the cold of old

town with the glimmer of hope of you

in my mind.

     cause now I am left here

wondering, unsure and worried.

I hate worry. I wish there was

some sort of slate, that I could

                           wipe clean.

 

I never expected much. I wouldn’t let myself.

but it ended up that way                         anyway.

I didn’t want promises. Or the sky or anything.

Just to know that you’d miss me a little.

               

 

cause I sure as hell miss you.

 

 

Reviews

[Khance]

Normally i empathize and try to understand your work and usually i will try to help you out and give opinions. But in this one scenario, if a guy did that to you... you track him down and you kick his a*s *ahem*

Anyway, wonderfully written, once again you're able to take in the reader and guide them along, making them wonder where they are and what they will read next. Then again, you have the same repetitivity in all your poetry, so eventually you're going to have to re-invent you're approach to writing.

Yes, im going to be given out to for that comment, but i honestly feel that you have the ability to excel as a writer. I hate having to write emotion, but i tried it... and it worked positively.

Think of the most opposite genre to love and heartache... and write from there, just once... and see how you do. :D

Always a pleasure to read, although usually its about your pain... :(

Khance

[Wildecat]

Another poem written from the heart. Really liked this poem. See ya in print.

[Pink Poison]

Another great heartfelt poem. Why is it that our best work comes from heartbreak? I have felt this way too many times and can relate utterly to every word. Your structure highlights the important ideas nicely and your word choice is perfect for summing up the pain of loving someone who is able to just walk away without a backward glance.

[Michael Handel]

sad and longing. I like this, relative to it's sadness, and I'm sorry to hear this. Oddly enough, sorrow and longing and heartbreak often are the catalysts for the sharpest art. Just keep writing it out, Rachel, like the Sun won't rise unless you write it to. Great poem.

[Avery James]

I absolutely love this.

A lot of my poems start out feeling this way. I like the structure and the words you chose to show the desperation and loneliness you felt. Very good. :)