Mirror of Souls

A boy feed up with an abusive father decides he will make the ultimate choice murder even after prison he finds he cannot escape his fathers torment he finds an old house that he opts to fix up.

Mirror Of Souls

Hello do you know the saying that a mirror is a reflection of one's soul well today we will see just how this saying came to be.

The date is 1995 Sacramento CA is about to play host to yet another series of bizarre murders a young Mr Andrews who grew up with a dysfunctional family.

His father was constantly drunk the cops were called nearly every month mom lived in constant fear of him then one night enough was enough after witnessing his father beat his mother nearly to death blood gushing from her nose and mouth tooth chipped he said enough is enough if you don't do something about that b*****d I will.

Knowing what would happen if she stood up to her husband she just crawled up into a ball and cried.  The next day Jim was out drinking he came home that night and as he always did he started barking out orders b***h why isn't dinner ready you ungratefully little horror I work my F*****g a*s of all day you could at least have the decency to make dinner Jim I am sorry b***h you damn right you gonna be sorry smash he throws a bottle against the wall clean it you b***h then get a shower and get in that bed.

You boy what are you f*****g staring at get out of my site before you get hurt then he stormed up the stairs it was then the young man knew it had to be done that night as father raped his mother he thought up a plan he would take a hunting knife out of the cabinet and as his Father slept he would cover his moth and slit his throat and that is exactly what the young man did his father would never again harm his mother again or anyone for that matter.

The Next day the police would come to the door investigating the murder the finger was pointed at the young man without much coxing pleaded guilty to the crime of murder in the first degree knowing the nature of Jim police pleaded to the jury that Jim was a violent person driven by Alcohol the young man was sentenced to a minimum of 8 years with a $ 15,000 dollar bail.

But was this enough although dead it was his father after is that demon somehow inside of the boy to what will happen these thought's and many more raced through the boys mind for 8 long years finally at 26 the boy finally a man was released from prison.

The young man finally free would need to search for a place to live many days passed exhausted from searching for a place to live he finds himself in front of an old home falling apart barley standing on its foundation he checks the door unlocked he goes inside the place looks like it hasn't been occupied for the better part of a century looking around the old abandoned house he thought how perfect I would stumble upon this place I can fix it up.

Walking the Empty corridors of this old house I stumbled upon the bedroom which would be mine after a well deserved rest the young man went into town to the home supply store He bout Light Bulbs Paint Tools Nails exc.

About a month later that old house was not looking so old It was shaping up fine then one night the young now 28 year old man herd voices calling out to him come to me embrace you're the young man put his hands up to his head closing his eyes the voice was gone night after night the voices kept taunting him

a week goes by the young man thinks its over and it was all in his head then like clock work the voices are back asking the young man to go into the attic like in a trance up the attic the man ascends into a room with a mirror looking around the young man half expected something to jump out at him of course it doesn't happen he looks again at the mirror trembling the young man father but I killed me son yes I did die by you're hands but my soul was dead long before you were even born.  now son look under the floor board you will find a gun take the gun son take it that gun was meant to be passed down to you when I passed son it belongs with you son.  I don't want anything from you father I am happy you're dead but son you know you want it don't you want to be like dear old dad no I wish Id never known you but son you always used to say I want to be just like you when I grow up now look at you all grown up just out of prison you may not believe it but you are just like me no I will never be like you you evil b*****d 

go ahead son get mad I will be in touch son I will be in touch always.

The young man did not think it had got to him that bad but the very next day as he was walking down the street everything somehow looked different the man saw corruption everywhere he returned home his the voice again rattling in his head finally consumed by the over whelming voices in his head He ascended into the attic reached under the floor boards and pulled out an old 44 mag.

overcome by an overwhelming feeling of hatred he stored the gun in a secret compartment in the back of the dresser that night he went out and like a Predator stalking it's prey he followed his first victim fearing she was being stalked she turned a corner into an dark alley were the trap was sprung the young man reached around the victims head covering her moth pulling out the knife used to kill his father and slits her throat as she fall to the ground he proceeds to stab hear two times three times a total of six times he then proceeds to dip his finger in the woman's blood and preceded to write S**t on the side of the wall 

as he retreated back to the old house the police were shocked at the site the police were all over the scene it was all over the news choppers in the sky.

The very next evening the killer struck again this time it was a man approximately 29 years old throat cut also stabbed another message written in blood the following month their were 6 more murders with the same MO 

returning home from the 8th murder the voice echoes again I knew you had it in you boy you're a man after my own hart The young man f**k you father what hart I don't know who I am anymore the police are out in full force I don't know about you but I am not a murderer oh but you are son you are who else do you think killed those 8 people.

That is not who I am it might be who you are but son you're are my son my own flesh and blood go to hell father but son surely you cannot mean such harsh words to you're dear old dad you are not my dad you never were my dad you could never be anyone's dad but son surely you know you cannot escape you're destiny my destiny what the f**k do you know about destiny you killed 8 people 

are you saying I was always destined to be a serial Killer yes just look into the mirror you will understand so he gazed into the mirror were he saw his father but it was not the father he knew he was young he almost seemed happy.

What happened have another look son who is that man that is you granddad son yes son he to was an alcoholic he abused my mother and when she left he took out all of his frustration and abuse on me he damn near killed me son you yes I killed him son and you became like him are you saying this is also my destiny f**k you dad my destiny is my own I will prove it try and prove it as you may son it 

will happen it's already happening you just wait father I will not turn out like you or like grandpa The next day the police began to comb the area the chopper circled the sky the sirens closing in The young man new it would be over he went to his bedroom took the pistol out of the dresser he ascended into the attic 

just then the police busted down the door the police swarmed the place 

when they hard the loud sound of a gun shot the police ascended the stairs were they spotted a gruesome scene the young man lye dead on the floor blood splatter on the walls the mirror and what is left of the young man's severely mutilated head.

The young man's soul has now joined the many souls gathered up by the mirror of souls.

Author's Note

I have Labled the story Teen but keep in mind their are scenes of violance blood and Profane
Language Discretion is advised.

Reviews

[Mik Zeal]

Okay, first of all. You need to break it up into sentences. Every paragraph is one long run on sentence, don't be afraid to use punctuation! Another thing, you're dialogue needs to be in quotes.
e.g.
Before
b***h why isn't dinner ready you ungratefully little horror I work my F*****g a*s of all day you could at least have the decency to make dinner Jim I am sorry

After
"B***h, why isn't dinner ready?! You ungrateful little w***e, I work my f*****g a*s off all day you could at least have the decency to make dinner!" He screams in a drunken rage.
"Jim, I am sorry." She's crying in fear.

As you can see, if you break it up into separate sentences and use quotations it comes out much better. Put a sentence after a quote to explain who is speaking and how they are speaking. Also, clever use of punctuation always adds emotion to a story.
You never welcome a reader to a story, you lead them in with either dialogue, backstory, or action. And the ending was rather cheesy lol. I would suggest ending it after "-young man's severely mutilated head."
Another thing, your spelling and grammar is still a problem but it's not nearly as bad as your other story. A way to fix this is to do what I do, open Microsoft word (it's an application that comes with every computer that runs windows) and type your story there; it automatically fixes most spelling problems and will underline words or phrases that are grammatically incorrect.
This was a good, creative, and rather original story, but your grammar and spelling problems ruined it. With more work, you could definitely come out with something great.

[Mik Zeal]

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, it's a writing rule to start a new paragraph with each quote.