Chinese For Three

This was something I realized when we suddenly only ordered our chinese food for three people.

Everything from the big things to the small, seemingly insigificant things,

they remind me of how things will never be the same.

But it's not supposed to be this way. 

I never thought it would have to be.

Never wanted it to be.

You can't call this your home anymore.

You won't call it that any time soon.

All of your your belongings slowly disappearing as well.

Most of the things I had become so comfortable with,

are no longer near me,

are not available to me for the comfort of the sameness.

The sadness, the stress, the frustration, is so apparent,

but covered up by the phony smiles.

The smiles that make me want to scream.

You're not okay with this,

I'm not okay with this,

no one's okay.

Our livess are different now.

And they will always be.

There's no longer four.

No need to buy for four.

We order for three now,

Chinese food for three.

Reviews

[Dr. Wood ?]

Maybe...they remind me of how IT will never be the same..The 'things' are a bit claustrophobic

THOSE THAT I had become so comfortable with......might be another way of ridding us of THINGS

A very well thought out poem though, with a clever title....Sometimes all it takes is a bolt from the blue and before you know it you have composed several verses...This was inspirational

[Aarontastic]

This was decent, but I think you could make it better too.

The word "things" is way overused in this poem imo. Substituting synonyms, or rearranging lines so that you can avoid putting in a word like it altogether would help a lot.

This is obviously free verse, but there are a couple lines that have so many syllables relative to the rest that they unbalance the whole poem: check out the 1st lines of the first and fourth stanzas and you'll see what I'm talking about.

The last 2 stanzas are the stand out ones, I think, and overall it's a nice elegiac poem :) Instead of adding details, I would focus on excising some, and rearranging a few of the verses so that it flows a bit better.

[MAC]

i like it the way it is....it is flowing from you and poetry is nothing but an extension of the poet. excellent write!

[tekphobik]

Further to your request for improvements, I provide the following critique of questionable authority from a mind with too much ego and not enough experience of my own.

I get what you're trying to say here, someone gone and no longer there. I think what you need to focus on is developing the relationship with that person a bit more. Talk about the little things that you miss, perhaps utilizing them in an ironic light. When it comes to the disappearance, I'd try and put more emotion into the fade-out - you need to demonstrate more the heartbroken situation. The last stanza is powerful, but a touch repetitive. I'd rework it a bit but keep the same idea and the last line is quite catching and a nice image of a family meal broken.

[kdpgrahi]

A very good job. Love it

[emmajoy]

There's a wonderful drift of words, of needing and missing someone you care about .. and you've used the 'Chinese for three' very cleverly, many phrases lie finely on the 'page'.

However, there are a too many 'things', too many 'okay' .. could you perhaps find the occasional alternative ..

Will return to read more. Good luck with your writing, it has an amazing amount of potential .. perhaps I should ask for your autograph now, 'fore you become famous. :)

[Vertigoingnowhere]

this is awesome i love this! good job! mind checking out some of my work? thanks :)

[Seshat Nidaba]

The first two stanzas had me mesmerized, then I got to the tv remote part and woke up. But you have strong lyrical frameworks HM and your handle on this site is adorable!