Darkness is, Darkness was

Darkness is, Darkness was

Take it as you see it

My feet tremble with disappointment

Maybe it is, maybe it was

A shovel couldn't dig that deep

You see failure became an option

Dark is near, Dark is where

Shh not a word

It wasn’t the light to go out

But the darkness that became too dark

Say it can’t change

But it can

Look to the Lord

He is here, he is near

His hand held out

Even when you feel like nothing

Every word you speak He hears

Lean on the Lord

Look no longer at your dark

But at his light you find peace

Author's Note

I wanted to try out a new style of writing...A poem story with no rules. A story with no he said she said and description but a poem that expresses without rhyme or specific structure. I feel like good writing doesn't need rules and structure...it needs meaning and I encourage more of you to write like this. Let me know what you think and give me your perspective on this piece. What do you take from it. Despite the lack of structure it has a very personal meaning to me(: Thank You!

Reviews

[Riley Justine]

Really well written. The structure is actually just fine. Just one suggestion:

"But the darkness that became too [thick]"

At least change dark to another word to eliminate repetitiveness. Otherwise, well penned.

[xhannyx]

Thank you! And thank you for the suggestion. I think that sounds much better!

[Lizzie Mitchell]

I like the image this evoked in my mind. A single flame can illuminate a dark place. The more darkness there is, and the less focused you are on that flame, the more the light can seem to disappear. But darkness can never extinguish a flame. If you look for it, it's still there. It's closer than you think.

[xhannyx]

Exactly! Yes thank you(:

[Matching Socks]

I like the way you've composed this, it's a bit different.
Turned out great.

[xhannyx]

Thank you!

[BlankCypher]

I like this poem. Lack of structure in itself has its own structure :)
Without adhering to rules you free yourself to express everything more deeply and it really works for you!
Keep it up :D

[xhannyx]

Wow thank you. That was really what I was going for. With this new no rule writing style I am trying to say free yourself! :) Thanks so much!

[BlankCypher]

No problem at all :D
That's what I do actually, I just write and see what happens.
Trust me, if you do it like that, you'll always be happy with your poems ^_^

[xhannyx]

Thats amazing and I totally agree! :P

[BlankCypher]

I'm glad ^_^ Once again, great poem :)

[xhannyx]

Thank you! That means so much!