WAIT

Hindi version published in Amar Ujala March 2004

Wait, Of that precious moment,
Is of a time, when even
Time s definition was not carved
That deviate you from
The path of responsibilities,
And drift you in the flood of thoughts
In that wave of emotions which
With its mirage elevates us
from that right and that wrong
That stops your steps towards me
Makes you a stone
Listen, if you wish you can touch
That immaculate question
Which resided always in eyelashes
but never try to open
In thirst to know its definition
as once solved it will wash out
With its everlasting wait,
Whom it wants to keep eternal.

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

Small things straight out Hardeep : For off to be in capitals Then it should read, Wait! Of that precious moment,. Still reads funny not sure there consider revision... Aside from that this writing is very strong. Awaiting for a moment so special that your thoughts will be elevated to a moment of deep thinking and feeling allowing you to have a sense for what is eternal.

An intriguing wait..

Thankyou

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot Rene

[Sindu]

That wait for the perfect moment to strike.. anticipation and elation.. beautifully described :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thankyou so much sindu

[amrit]

such a moving poetry , the message speaks in itself . enjoyable read .
(i felt it wouldve been better if periods were used often .)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you so much :)

[Mayank]

very powerful and moving...

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot mayank

[Avanthika]

great one.....................

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks avantika

[George Peck]

Another great poem excellent job. Thank You for letting me read.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot george

[MomzillaNC]

You've penned some very powerful and emotive ideas here.

NOTES: I think you should proof-read this one again; there are corrections that would clarify your meaning in some of the lines. I also think this one would benefit greatly from the judicious application of punctuation.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot for suggestions and a constructive review

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. I hope it was helpful.

[Angad Waraich]

its a fine read.
Though i found the hindi version better.
Well originals are originals.
Well done.
Thank you for sharing

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot Angad :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

Pratilsha, uss ek pal ki
samay ki paribhasha se pehle ki hai
jo tumhe, pathbharmit kare,
kartavyo ke pag par chalne se,
baha kar le aaye, vicharo ki dhaara me
uss lay me jo jorhti ha bhavo ko
Dhundhla deti hai nayno ko,
apni mrigtrishna se uthati ha uper
uss sahi aur uss galat se
jo rokta hai tumhe, mujh tak se pehle hi
Ahilya sa pathhar karta hai,
suno, tum chaho to chhu skte ho
Unchhue se uss prashan ko
jo raha hai sadaa hi, kahin palko me
Magar mat khol dena use,
paribhasha jaan ne ki aturta me
Ke ek baar suljha to wo mit hi jaayega
apne uss intzaar ke sath
jise wo sadaa jeevit rakhna chahta hai.

[Avinash]

Bahut hi umda hai Hardeep Bhai. Kaafi dil se likhi gayi aur aapke kalam ke painepan ka ehsas karati hai. Thanks a lot.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you so much avinash

[Briana O'Connor]

The sentiment behind this piece is complex and fascinating. There are some phrases that don't quite make sense. They seem to be jumbled or something. Other than that well penned.

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thanks a lot briana

[Sami Khalil]

We all wait for something or someone. Some wait for deeper meanings of life and others for special moments to answer immaculate questions. Excellent, sir...:).....

[hardeep sabharwal]

Thank you so much sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).........