Unlucky

my first ever attempt at writing an actual book-I just thought it would be funny to compare it to my writing now, so let me know if I have improved-I wrote this when I was 12 I think...

Unlucky

My knees shook as I ran the last kilometre of the race. I always knew I was a perfectionist at running but I never knew I was this good. Everyone was cheering on the people way behind me but they didn’t seem to notice me in the front. Last year I came 2^nd. No one likes coming 2^nd place because the person in front gets hugged by her friends and a trophy while the next best gets nothing except a lousy, “You’ll do better next time.”

 

Today my friends walked through the hallway talking to someone with a locker next to me but didn’t even say hello. I was putting my books away and I called out to them as they were about to continue to strut through the school. I said, “Guys, can you please wait for me?” They turned around and said, “No.” No one has ever ignored me like that before, except for yesterday.

 

Yesterday, my friend, Sophie, was sitting in the desk next to me and I asked her if she was busy this weekend and guess what she said to me, NOTHING!!! As if she hadn’t heard me, she turned her back to me and she started talking to Amberley-Jane. A-J, as I liked to call her, had been my best friend since we were born two days apart from each other plus our mums were best friends ever since high school and they still are. From that day we met, we just clicked.

 

A-J and I exchanged glances. I knew what she was thinking… ‘Why is she ignoring you?’ I knew this because A-J is a good friend and she would never ignore me like Soph. Two seconds later I found out I was wrong… She wasn’t looking at me she was looking at our other friend, Isabella AKA Bella, who was making faces at me behind my back. Maybe it was time to get new friends, I thought to myself as I drifted back to the future. I heard cheering as I crossed the finish line in time to see why they were cheering.

 

The only reason they were cheering was because I had tied with the most popular girl in the whole school, Brittany. People were lifting her up in a chair made from the arms of the kids who were under the spell of Brittany, basically 90% of the kids in our school. I knew what this meant. This meant that we had to run a 5km tie breaker, just me and the devil. This’ll be fun, I thought as I realized just how much I was going to fail at this- AKA big time. I’ll be the girl who is known as the kid who failed sport in middle school. I wanted to come 1^st just for once in my almost 13 years of life but that is obviously not going to happen because tomorrow is my birthday. I walk over to the starting line once again.

 

Brittany is warming up. One of the bullies comes up to me, who also happens to be Brittany’s boyfriend and says, “Hey, you, you had better lose or I’ll beat you up after this. Brittany is my girl okay so do not mess with her or you’ll end up having to deal with me okay?” I just nod meekly. Deep down I knew I should’ve let Brittany come first. Second is looking pretty good right now. Brittany is getting ready. I’m stretching my muscles.

 

Mr Seedro is talking to Brittany now. I can hear him. He is saying, “You can win don’t let that dorky Kate get in your way.” I’m upset now. I am not a dork. I am Brittany’s best friend. At least I was. She was never nice to me but she always sat with me and everything so I guess that means she is.

 

Mr Seedro blows the whistle. I sprint 50m. Brittany is ahead of me by about 5m. I wait until she is out of breath then I sprint 200m. She is looking devastated that I am ahead of her.  As I sprint the last 100m of the lap, Brittany looked at me and I looked at her.

 

Then the strangest thing happened, Britt started groaning as if she was in pain. I give her a look that said what are you doing you are perfectly fine. She falls behind.  She sprawls herself out on the ground as if she broke something.  She can’t be serious I think to myself. Oh yes she can, she screams in agony as we see the biggest bruise in the history of the world. It stretched from her knee to her ankle. A big black bruise that looked quite serious. For a moment I actually felt sorry for her. That moment vanished as quickly as it had come when I saw that the hottest boy in the school swept her off her feet while Brittany gives me the death stare.

 

When the hot boy walked past me I could see it was real she had actually broken her leg. I wish that was me. Then it hit me. I could break something. But how? Before I had time to think, Emily, Brittany’s bffl yelled at me, “You broke Brittany’s leg.” Before I could defend myself I realized it was too late, the whole school was joining in with the chant Emily had started and before I knew it Britt was being whisked away to hospital with the hot boy holding her hand the whole way there. While I was stuck with the rest of the school who were now completely against me.

 

 Mrs Bargy, the school principal called out to me over the noise, “Kate, come to my office immediately.” I flinched as soon as I understood what would happen to me now. I knew I was in so much trouble that Mrs Bargy would definitely call my mum (Dad doesn’t exist in my life) and she would come and get me as soon as she had received the call.

 

I was scared and I felt like I was about to pass out. I thought about how I was way ahead of Brittany when she “broke” her leg and how I couldn’t have done that because I didn’t even touch her. I wish I had the courage to tell Mrs Bargy. She was tall and thin with a rabbit like face. She was considered to be a geek. As I trudged up the stairs to the principal’s office, I looked at all the posters for bullying at school.

 

One of the posters said, “Being bullied? Need to tell someone? Mrs Frankie Bargy is available 5 days a week, 7 hours a day, no appointment needed.  I wondered how I was supposed to tell my principal her favourite student is bullying me (her least favourite student). I could hear the very loud noises coming from the phone as Mrs Bargy dialled my number.

 

I hardly dared to breathe as I waited for the principal to say, “Your mother is on her way.” When that moment came I almost passed out. My stomach churned in a circle. When Mrs Bargy said, “She said to let you know that you and your mother are going to have a great big discussion about controlling your anger when you get home.” I remembered last time we had a “discussion” it lasted for about 3 hours straight. I couldn’t breathe, I felt like there was a knife plunging through my heart. My legs collapsed. This is when I really did faint.

 

When I woke up a bright light was shining in my eyes and I could just make out the quiet chatter of the nurses in the background. As I remembered what had happened, I was glad I had fainted (maybe I could get out of the “discussion”). I heard my Mum talking to the head nurse frantically. “Is my baby okay?” she would bark at the nurse. “We can’t be sure; her heart rate is dropping rapidly.”

 

I was still too weak to open my eyes but I could hear everything. I could feel the hard jabs of my heart which was still throbbing. I could feel my Mum’s hand on my forehead. It was cool on my clammy, sweaty face. “Mum,” I whispered. “Am I going to be okay?”

 

For a moment, I expected, “Yes.” What she really said was “No.” Mum started to sob. Her tears dripped on me frequently. “What’s wrong?” I said starting to cry.

“You have a rare disease called Craliperarysorosis. It is where you lose your eyesight. Your heart starts to slow down, and then you die.”

 

 

We had a moment of silence filled with the dreadful cries of my Mum. I could hardly stop myself from crying. I heard the beep of the monitor as my heart started to slow down. This can’t be happening. Just as I thought my life was about to end in comes the nurse with a solution to my rare disease. She says to me, “The only solution for you to live is to swap hearts with your mother. Your mother will live through it because she has a special body but she won’t be able to overcome the blindness.

 

Straightaway my mother began to agree with this idea. As soon as Mum was prepared for surgery, my heart stopped altogether. The stabbing stopped. I could feel the bright light in my face though I couldn’t see it. Was I dying? Were they doing surgery on me? What felt like an hour later, I could hear voices. What were they saying? Was I in heaven? I tried talking but something stopped me. Was that a mask I could feel on my mouth? I wish someone would answer my questions. Something cool touched my skin. The object was soft. Someone told me to open my eyes.

 

My immediate response was, “Who are you?” There were lots of people that looked familiar. I didn’t know any of them. I tried to get up but a strange looking person who looked like she might do first aid said, “You lost your memory. You had a rare disease that almost killed you. Luckily your mother swapped hearts with you so now you don’t have the disease, your mother does.” Some of my memories came rushing back.

 

But who were all these strange people? Were they bad people or good people? Who was that strange person skulking in the corner with a broken leg? Was that Brittany? Was she my friend? She is so pretty. I want to talk to her. Who was that geeky lady? Was she a rabbit? I laughed to myself quietly. “Hey its Brittany isn’t it? Come here.” Brittany looked surprised at how I talked to her without cowering. She hopped over reluctantly.

 

 “What do you want?” she asked me solemnly.

 

“Can you tell me what happened?”

 

“Well, you broke my leg when you were angry with me for tying with me at the cross country, then you fainted when your heart started to hurt, after that you ended up here with a rare disease and the only way to save you was to swap your heart for your Mum’s because her body can handle it better than you can.”

 

“How do I know you?” I asked her quietly.

 

“We go to middle school together.”

 

This is when more of my memories came back. “When can I go home?” I asked the surgeon. She answered me with, “Today.” I smiled. Well, I tried to since I felt a little weak still. How are we getting home I asked myself. As if the head nurse had read my mind she pointed out that we could get a lift with a family member. Aunt Lucy came as soon as we had called. There was an awkward silence in the car. No one was willing to fill it. As we drove quite quickly home, we could smell something burning in the distance.

 

As we approached our cottage, we could see what the burning was from. As we got closer, the smoke started to choke me. In front of me, my house, it was on fire! Mum of course couldn’t see. I didn’t want to alarm her but she asked me about it in her “tell me or else” voice. What was I supposed to do? So eventually I told her. She went ballistic.

 “My baby boy is in there with my mother!” she said to me. She used her stick that helped her to see and raced inside. I was about to object to this crazy decision but she was too fast. After 5 minutes impatiently waiting, I raced in there after her. All I could see was smoke and dust from the floorboards that were about to break. There I saw three lifeless people in a row that were very close to me, dying before my eyes.

 

“Noooooooooooo!” I screamed into the blazing living room. I needed to get out but I was weakening as minutes passed. Warm tears dribbled down my sweaty face. I ran out of the house, as I ran out of breath the house collapsed. “Aunt Lucy?” I said between tears. Aunt Lucy was in my Mum’s car still, leaning on the steering wheel in the ruined car. I looked through the smashed windows of the car and see my Aunt dead.

 

ARE YOU SERIOUS? I think to myself. Could my life get any worse? Yes it could! The burning remains of the house tumbled down onto me and now I am dead.

Author's Note

my first ever attempt at writing an actual book-I just thought it would be funny to compare it to my writing now, so let me know if I have improved-I wrote this when I was 12 I think...I am now almost 15 :D Please don't critique it, just compare it to something else I have written

Reviews

[Carnation]

I'm not sure about others, but I can see a difference. You have become better at something you are a natural at, and you can only get better. By the time you're 20 you will most likely be a top selling author, a bit like today's Stephen Myer (did I spell her name right?)

[Harriet Styles]

By the way, I have been writing stories since I was about 7, I should find and upload something I wrote when I was 7 lol