The discontinuity between how I see myself and what the mirror shows me

I shower every morning. I get out of the shower and look at myself for the first time that day. I look in the mirror, and I like what I see. I walk away with a smirk. ‘Damn, I am one fine looking man’. The feeling of self worth radiates through my morning and as I make breakfast. As I brush my teeth, I get to look at myself again. My self-image is so high that I am expecting a model. My electric toothbrush runs for two minutes, and I look at myself for the whole time. ‘I guess I am good looking...-ish... I’m not perfect, but I’m not ugly exactly.’ I leave the house slightly deflated. As the day rolls by I start to wonder ‘Am I as good looking as I think?’ I look in a window at my reflection to confirm what I had seen that morning. ‘Hm… well… I guess I am average’. I look at some guy sitting on the bus. ‘Yeah, I probably look a lot like that guy, and he’s not bad’. I get to campus and get to work. I sort of forget about how I look, but I feel pretty confident about myself. Eventually, I have to use the restroom. I stop to look at myself again in the restroom mirror. This time, I breakdown exactly what I don’t like about myself. Ears, hair, one eye is lower than the other. If no one is around, I might even lift up my shirt and flex. ‘Hm, not as buff as I thought this morning’. I walk away. By now, my self-image is of a hideous creature not worth knowing. ‘How can anyone even speak to me I am so ugly.’ I make a mental note not to look in the mirror again, so that my self-esteem doesn’t take any more hits. The rest of the day I skirt away from any reflections. I am but vaguely aware that there is a person reflected in windows and mirrors; I avert my gaze and rush past. By night, I only vaguely remember what I saw in the mirror that morning, I go to sleep wondering what I look like to people.

I shower every morning, and as I get out of the shower I get my first look at myself for that day. I half expect a monster. ‘ Holy s**t, I am an Adonis, how can people even concentrate when I am around I am so good looking’. As I make breakfast, I have no doubt I am beautiful.