Fantasy/Steam Punk style about a quest for rings to control the world. [Kinda cliche, I know, but I think it is written quite well] Please read, review & rate.
I like the ideas behind everything, to me it seems you've done some nice planning. But there's something about the narration that doesn't flow in my opinion.
I don't think you give the reader much of a chance to connect with the characters. I like the story but I can't find myself connecting with anyone. I think it's because it's written in present-tense.
I think you need to focus on your protagonist more, let us get to know her before everyone else.
But I love the ideas. And your style is unique.
A good writer needs unique style. It makes them a writer.
I like the ideas behind everything, to me it seems you've done some nice planning. But there's something about the narration that doesn't flow in my opinion.
I don't think you give the reader much of a chance to connect with the characters. I like the story but I can't find myself connecting with anyone. I think it's because it's written in present-tense.
I think you need to focus on your protagonist more, let us get to know her before everyone else.
But I love the ideas. And your style is unique.
A good writer needs unique style. It makes them a writer.
I'm Holly, I am eighteen.
I like feed-back on my writing to improve myself.
I'm loud, sarcastic, always smiling.
Sometimes vulgar, rude & judging.
:]
note: for read requests i generally read onl.. more..