Black Mamba

Novella the Prologue and first Chapter

PROLOGUE

"1979"

In my dream there was screaming and yelling. I began to stir as I realized that the screaming and yelling were not in my dream it was in my house.  Groggy I looked around my room and I see the hallway light shining under my door.  I get out of bed and open the door trying to see what the noise is about.  My mom is hovering over my dad pounding him with her fist.  I try to scream yet I can’t find my voice, I don’t like it when mommy hurts daddy, ”Mommy stop!” I scream but no sound leaves my lips.  Mommy’s voice is so loud and scary.  Mommy please leave daddy alone, please! There goes great grands mirror!  I wish I could disappear, please God let me disappear; I wish I could melt into this wall and forget everything.  I’m afraid for daddy.  I’m afraid for mommy.  I’m afraid for myself, what if she does this to me?  God if you’re there please, please, I beg you pretty please with cream on top and sugar on the bottom don’t let her do this to me.

"1986"

Calvin asked for one of my cupcakes today.  I said “No!” as usual but I really like when he ask.  Maybe tomorrow I will say yes.  He’s been asking for two grades now and I see how those other girls have been looking at him.  Yeah! I’m going to give him a cupcake tomorrow.  I bet he’s going to be happy.

Calvin, the boy I’ve liked for years is mean, I don’t care to ever see him again.  He’s a bum.  Today he asked for one of my cupcakes as usual and I said no, but this time I used a little southern drawl and he asked again that’s when I said yes.  Saying yes to Calvin was the beginning of something special.  We began talking and hanging out and I really began to like him.  I could see the other girls staring and whispering about us but I didn’t care.  Calvin was the cutest boy in the world and he liked me.  Calvin has caramel colored skin, hazel eyes with flecks of yellow like a cat, he’s taller than me but not taller than the gym teacher and his bowed legs are just the most wonderful things I’ve ever seen.  When he smiles at me I just melt on the inside and my legs feel like jelly.  Calvin held my hand and I thought I was going to pass out.   Calvin and I take nature walks everyday.  We talk about wild flowers, birds and butterflies.  We find funny shapes in clouds look at the sunset and try to find all of the colors in the rainbow.  This was the most beautiful time of my life.  I have never felt love so dearly; like a fairy tale I could be Cinderella and Calvin is the prince that I’ve been waiting on to save me from my terrible life.  Then on this particular day Calvin hugs me, not like he usually hug me but really close.  His lips are close to my ear when he says my name.  He touches me on my thigh and I kind of like it.  His kiss was light and sweet, the fragrance of his mouth has me mesmerized.  As his hand rises to touch my breast, I shudder as my private parts begin to tingle and go to work.  Calvin then kisses me deep and I feel as if I’m under a spell; Maybe, I am dreaming but it feels so real. Calvin’s touch is like a fire touching each part of my body.  It’s so wonderful and scary at the same time.  I say Calvin stop, this is going too far!  Calvin then whispers to me ever so lightly that we’re not doing anything bad.  I ask him to get off of me and he grabs my hands really hard.  I struggle trying to gain freedom when Calvin slaps me hard across the face.  I begin to cry and he slaps me three more times.  I’m shocked and scared but I won’t allow this boy to take me.  I begin really kicking and screaming when Calvin borrows his head into my chest and his fingers begin to feel as if he’s going to cut my body in half.  Now it’s like I’ve left my body and I’m watching this assault upon me as I float around the room.  I shut down and I am now numb.  I can’t feel anything as the boy I love violates me.  When I look at my own face, the tears, I see weakness.  I can’t believe that I’m so weak, a frail piece of a body, my body; in which I couldn’t defend in anyway.  I cried on the outside but I died on the inside.  The more he took me the more I died.  When Calvin was done with me, he said that he was sorry and that he didn’t mean to hurt me.  He cleaned up my blood and walked me home.  It was surreal I didn’t feel like I was in my body.  I was a guest in this body and would have to return this suit when I was done. How do I return from this point? How am I to see the world now? I will never ever in my life be so weak again! I hate Calvin, yet I thank Calvin.  His actions, his vulgar actions opened my eyes, this is a cruel cruel world, and guys like him do exist.  I was a victim, his prey, never will I allow myself to be a victim again!

BLACK MAMBA

The black mamba is one of the most feared snakes in the world.  They are fast, lethally venomous, and when threatened, highly aggressive.  Their name is not from their skin color but inspired by the blue-black color of their mouth.  The venom of a black mamba will kill a human in within an hour.  To watch this snake in action is wonderful it’s graceful and smart, but when the mamba strikes it intends to inflict fatal harm!

 

“Do you have to talk to me like I’m a dog? Show me some respect Lynn even a dog deserves respect!”

Lynn sweetly snarled at Alonzo, words that cut to his soul, “Well my dear…you must be lower than a DOG!!! A real man doesn’t beg for respect His presence commands it!”

Alonzo just walked away, broken and hurt, not sure how long he could survive this abuse. Lynn watched Alonzo walk away, what could she do, it is what it is right?

 

Alonzo is a tall, slender, gentle, soft-spoken, loving man.  A man who loves a beautiful, successful, stubborn mean woman, named Lynn.

 

For the record, I’m the stubborn, mean woman named Lynn.  I know you already hate me, but I’m telling my story so someone can help me and maybe I can help just one person.  I’m mean to Alonzo but I love him more than life, my husband and our children are my life.  I’m hurting on the inside and I can’t understand why?  I wasn’t abused, I had a good childhood, the only girl with two older brothers, yes, you’ve guessed it I was spoiled.  My brothers dotted on me, my mother loved to dress me up and do my hair and my dad oh how, I love my dad and anyone in the world could see that I was the apple of his eye. 

 

Our four-bedroom house was filled with love.  Mom didn’t work until I was in the third grade and even then she only volunteered at my or my brothers school.  My mom baked cupcakes, cookies, pies and well just about anything that I liked.  My mom was easy to talk to I could share anything with her she never judged me, and she never tried to change my feelings on anything.  Therefore when I went to her with my issue of the man that was persistently chasing me I expected her to just listen never give anything just let me come to my own conclusion.  Yes my mom surprised me when I finished my story, she turned to me and stated that a man that is that determined to get you is a good catch and would make an even better husband, I had better listen to her because she knows exactly how I feel.  That was eight years ago, it seems like 100 years ago. 

How did things go so wrong? Why do I hurt him so? Why do I do it? Break him, break his heart, and break his spirit, why oh why must I devour his soul?  I know I need to change, but what can I do? How do I change me?  Everywhere everyone says that the person being hurt should leave but why shouldn’t I leave?  I should depart instead of watching him die slowly, murdered viciously by me, but I’m comfortable, I’m sure he won’t leave.  I know that he loves me and would take anything from me, but WHY? Why won’t I leave?

 

I don’t want to hurt him, but why do I keep doing it? I don’t understand why I hate… then love…. then hate him so.  He has given me the best, most precious things in my life, my daughter and my son.  They were created in love.  Once upon a time I loved him more than life, I don’t understand where did the love go? How did we lose it?

 

I love him, I love him not, I love him, I love him not, I… Love… him? I’m not sure that I know how I feel, about him or myself but what I do know is I can’t continue on like this. Where is the help for me? There are many of people pledging to help the abused but what about the abuser?  Who can I turn to?

 

The other day I watched my daughter and I cringed at the way she addressed her brother.  She’s mimicking me, of all things she’s taking on my abusive behavior. I need to get help

and I need it soon.  My son is a victim and my daughter is becoming a monster.  I have to save them both.  I have to get things in order, I have to change me in order to save them.

 

“Good Morning Alonzo.”

“Good Morning Lynn”

“Alonzo, can I talk to you?”

“Lynn what’s wrong? You seem disturbed?”

“I want to get help no correction, I NEED to get help! Alonzo, I am going to need your full support.”

“Of course honey, I will support you one hundred percent!  Lynn, I love you, just tell me when and where do we start?”

“Honey, you are definitely jumping the gun, I will search around and I will let you know.  Alonzo, I’m scared.  I know I will be ok, but I’m not sure that I haven’t done too much damage to our family.”

“Lynn, honey, what damage that has been done can be undone in love, we just have to return to our loving ways.”

“Thank you dear, I need your encouragement. I have to get out of here, have a good day.”

“You too honey, you too.”

 

I feel like a war is going on inside of me, one minute I’m working on me the next I’m not.  I am lost, and no one, not a soul can help me.  The only things they offer for an abuser is anger management, I’ve been through anger management many of times.  There’s nothing to really help me, they have Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-Anon, weight-loss support groups, and many more.  Yet there are not support groups for domestic abusers.  I’ve never put my hands on my husband, but he has been beat by my words.  Now I see my daughter following these same actions.  I am so lonely. Although I’m surrounded by people all day everyday, I’m lonely.

 

Can you believe that my neighbors and friends believe that we are the perfect couple?  I hear them whisper about “The Madison’s”, Lynn and her husband…, how we’re so perfect, our house is perfect, our children are perfect.  They have full-blown conversations about us and when I see them they act as if they haven’t been discussing me.  What would they say if they knew that my house was a war zone?  That my husband is afraid of me? That my daughter bullies her brother acting like me? They are clueless, we all smile and are polite but my neighbors would pass out if I snapped and they got a taste of my venom!  That’s when my name would change from Lynn to “The Black Mamba.”  A very fitting name If I do say so myself…

Author's Note

I would like your thoughts, opinions and ratings.

Reviews

[Dick Noble]

Interesting story but it took me awhile and some re-reading to make all the connections. I think that you can simplify some of the language eg: the good morning dialogue and just go with the "Alonzo can I talk to you?"I also wonder if you can make the timeline more consistent as you flip from the past to the present and it can be confusing to the reader.
This is definitely a story worth telling.

[heavenly_spoken]

Thank you for this review just the kind of criticism I've been looking for.

[Evan]

Interesting read, would read again