2 am

I only wrote this because I'm very sad and it was therapeutic.

It is 2 am and I am scraping my throat for tired 

metaphors about how i am always going to feel this way,

I try to compare myself to a haunted cemetery 

of broken headstones but it will never touch the way the 

word " abandonment" leaves my mouth. The way I wrap 

my tongue around every syllable, hoping you will not just 

let it fall like a bird with a broke wing. Hoping there's 

not an ounce of pity on your face. I know you think you can 

love me like no one ever has, I know you think I'm not 

beyond saving but I'm not here to be fixed. I am a rip tide, 

a whirl pool, the Bermuda Triangle. This is me giving you

my life raft. When I beg you not to promise me all of the

things I have been offered before, it is not me being pathetic.

It is that my heart never quite stops believing in love but

my brain knows better by now. Every time one of you comes 

around,you boys with the nice lips and the deep voices, 

I know exactly where it's going. I can feel your betrayal before 

you even realize you want to kiss me a second time.