okay okay...4th review in....I've never touched drugs in my life! So if you can relate..so sorry. But impressed that I can write persuasively. Thank you!
Sit with me, and I'll prepare something special for you. With just a spoonful of sugar, I'll sweeten-up and embellish, this dead crow that once flew.
Get closer. Your turn; take a blow of this snow. I'm prepared to catch your nose bleed, inside my porcelain bowl.
When finished, let us dance beneath the chandelier. Let us gaze upon the dense opacity. Let us see these new atrocities. Let us observe, watch and listen, as our pupils begin to dilate and darken.
And if we sing; this hare in my lap, the fish in the sink, we'll use them as our audience. They will remain silent, but harken.
Watch my friend as the clock strikes twelve. Snow White and her Prince will meet us here very soon. If lucky, she'll bring you Cinderella's dress tailored in fine silk, and colored in blue.
Want more? Use my razor to cut through the looking glass of maladjustment and calamity. Regal with me; enjoy this moment of rolled dollar-ed bills, and frivolity.
I'll shuffle the cards. Another poker game might make you feel light as a feather. Bare breast dipped in dopamine, just adds to the pleasure.
The table can walk, the bird is alive now..hear it squawk. Hickory dickory dickory dock. When the clock strikes twelve the devil will come. He'll bring the wine, and he'll bring the sweet rum.
((White powder coverlets the senses))
It's odd; you know? How the ice turns soft. Soft becomes cold. Cold becomes hot. Stranger yet...last nights spaghetti. It got caught in my throat, it still sits in my stomach, all tied in a knot.
When the clock strikes twelve, my neighbor will come. He's my Cousin's, Sister's Brother, born from a different Father and Mother. He'll bring us more cocaine. But I must warn you. Can you keep a secret? He's a little off. Perhaps a little insane.
I can't possibly try to share with you my inspiration here. So I will instead..plead the 5th. But as all of you know, I'm always looking for a new way to mess with the reader. So my intent here, was to overwhelm the senses, much the same way that cocaine does.
My Review
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I adore such trippy trips sideways round the honeycombed mind where inside of every crevice a rhythmic pop pop on an easel will claw away all fabricated nuances of what poetry is 'supposed to be' and deliver a brand new dish of mind bending delectable delicacies of imaginative play~ lovin on the cross pollination of fairy tales with urban drawl~to be completely honest with you I don't have to guess at all at the magiks that spark such creative wonders since my brainpan is chock full of squirming swirling images in broad surreal screen 24/7~ this banquet of exotic fare I understand better than everyday poetic ramblings~ this is Dali tripping the high wire fantastic with Nina Hagen~ LOVE IT~perfect meter also if I may add which adds to the mental cadence of the reader~
I am overwhelmed, you really are a ghost aint'cha...
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
I swear I never touched Coke in my life. But I wanted to flirt with what it might be like if I could.. read moreI swear I never touched Coke in my life. But I wanted to flirt with what it might be like if I could convince others that I know how it sees and feels...
Ones nose does not simply begin bleeding, but what really made me question your authenticity was this line (lol) "Let us observe, watch and listen" what exactly are you talking about?
But this "Bare breast dipped in dopamine, just adds to the pleasure" this was such incredible imagery that i no longer cared about the rest of the poem, just couldn't stop thinking about the shape and size of said breast
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
I'd like to believe that when one is "high" anything goes...
7 Years Ago
High off of the love of Jesus Christ and Virgin Mary maybe
Hey You, this is still one of my faves...thank you for your writings for they helped me tremendously in my growth in my writings...I hope you are still writing. :)
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
I'm still writing. Stuff for work anyways, like HIPAA privacy notices and waiver of liability contra.. read moreI'm still writing. Stuff for work anyways, like HIPAA privacy notices and waiver of liability contracts. Would you like me to share them with you? lol
7 Years Ago
Mmmmm no lol, I know hippa...I guess we could be in the same field of work? Shhhh
7 Years Ago
Are you still writing? I took a peak on your page and it was empty? :(
7 Years Ago
Me write? I haven't posted anything on my page per se...but I've scribbled some notes :)
True story, a relative of mine's ex-boss, years ago, made her try cocaine while at work late. She said it was like five pots of coffee and a bottle of sleeping pills, wired yet dopey and confused. Needless to say, she doesn't work for that weirdo anymore.
I can see the combination of languid and frantic here as well, so that's well done. Nice rhythms and internal rhymes and a very nice writing overall, I'd say.
Hope to see more from you soon.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I will confess in the fact that if I could try it without any consequences. "I would." Amongst other.. read moreI will confess in the fact that if I could try it without any consequences. "I would." Amongst other things. As a child and all my adult life I played it safe. I never did any drugs, barely drinked, don't smoke...yet I am curious. So I guess that's what provoked me to write this story. To throw my self into the experience of getting high, I researched cocaine and all of it's ill favored and pleasant side effects. In order to write convincingly, it felt necessary...and it helped feed my curiosity. And oh...I was on pain medication at the time...so I "kind of knew" how it felt to be on cloud 9.
10 Years Ago
Hmm, would you believe that I've never been drunk? I like alcohol a fair amount, vodka, brandy, or p.. read moreHmm, would you believe that I've never been drunk? I like alcohol a fair amount, vodka, brandy, or plain old beer, but I never drink to get drunk.
I suppose you have to manage yourself and figure out which risks are worth risking, because some aren't, just for the sake of having done it.
10 Years Ago
I want to go sky diving and drive my car 100 mph, but I don't. lol
10 Years Ago
I would say that those are both more worth it than cocaine.
10 Years Ago
I'm an IOWA girl that lives out in the middle of nowhere with NOTHING to do. I guess you can say I'm.. read moreI'm an IOWA girl that lives out in the middle of nowhere with NOTHING to do. I guess you can say I'm fun deprived.
10 Years Ago
I actually didn't mind Iowa much when I drove across it last summer. The rolling hills kept it inter.. read moreI actually didn't mind Iowa much when I drove across it last summer. The rolling hills kept it interesting. Nebraska I enjoyed, too, it was where the country started to feel open and western.
Maybe you should try and make Iowa beautiful in a poem? It needs love too.
10 Years Ago
I'm not writing about cow pies and stinky Mennonites. Sorry.
10 Years Ago
Aww, come on, if you asked me for a poem about New York, I'd have more to say than just that out gov.. read moreAww, come on, if you asked me for a poem about New York, I'd have more to say than just that out governor is an idiot, and I'm tired of reading about New York City as if it somehow represents the other 54,000 square miles of the state that aren't NYC.
Besides, I saw far more cow pies in Nebraska. :)
10 Years Ago
Okay I'd write about all the rednecks and hicks?
10 Years Ago
Damn straight, that's a great subject. Every state has them, what makes Iowa's rednecks they way the.. read moreDamn straight, that's a great subject. Every state has them, what makes Iowa's rednecks they way they are? Besides, I'd much rather be a hick than a city slicker any day. My favorite parts of New York are its middle-of-nowheres.
10 Years Ago
I don't have much to say...I don't like it here. I don't even remotely belong here.
10 Years Ago
Well, it's not wrong to feel that way. Not because of Iowa, but just because some of us feel that wa.. read moreWell, it's not wrong to feel that way. Not because of Iowa, but just because some of us feel that way. Where would you rather be? What soil would you like under your nails?
10 Years Ago
I'm a restless spirit. I want to travel the world.
10 Years Ago
Great answer. Let me tell you one thing I learned when I went cross country last summer...the contin.. read moreGreat answer. Let me tell you one thing I learned when I went cross country last summer...the continent is smaller than it seems, and that's not such a bad thing. It means that with the right attitude, you can really make a big part of the world your home.
10 Years Ago
And with the power of the internet. But it's not quite the same. I want to touch it...feel it...brea.. read moreAnd with the power of the internet. But it's not quite the same. I want to touch it...feel it...breathe it.
10 Years Ago
I've been so nostalgic lately for all the places I went last year. St. George, Utah, Bishop, Califor.. read moreI've been so nostalgic lately for all the places I went last year. St. George, Utah, Bishop, California, Mt. Evans in Colorado...let the world in without prejudice is one thing I will say. It doesn't take long for the various states to reinforce their respective stereotypes, but that doesn't detract from them, if you understand that you're in a different locale with a different flavor. Go into a new place looking to find out why it's lovable.
10 Years Ago
I just need a vacation. Lol, that may be only one state away, I don't care, I just want out of the c.. read moreI just need a vacation. Lol, that may be only one state away, I don't care, I just want out of the corn fields.
I think you'd like New York, honestly, lousy government aside. Have you been?
10 Years Ago
Closest place I've been to NY is Chicago. I lived there for four years after I was done with High Sc.. read moreClosest place I've been to NY is Chicago. I lived there for four years after I was done with High School.
10 Years Ago
The one thing I love most about this state is that it has something for everybody. Yes, if you like .. read moreThe one thing I love most about this state is that it has something for everybody. Yes, if you like big cities we have NYC, but there are the beaches on Long Island, great rock climbing on the Shawangunk Cliffs, thousands of miles of remote mountain hiking in our three mountain ranges, the Finger Lakes wine country, the rolling hills and farmlands out west, and we also have the most ski resorts of any state by far.
I told my girlfriend when she was visiting, we went to the Adirondacks, that though I'd been cross country and seen many states and places, there was no place like Northern NY.
I will say you make me feel, live in your poetry, even felt the buzzed:)
I think you are brilliant writer and every single expression of yours is amazing, the beauty I noticed about your writing is you never ignore details, Loved it simply mind blowing and poetry with freedom.
Cocaine is the devil in a white coat! I like the spin on the use with fairy tale characters, besides being other worldly when on drugs and taken a narrative from something innocent, fairytales always carry a dark moral.
This has a very Wonderland vibe to it. Everything becomes skewed when hued by drugs. This surreal scene is really quite compelling. It thrusts the reader from one strange tableau to the next with ease. You've done a fantastic job with this one.