Untitled

A Poem by hildaarlette

I’m glad you have forgotten about me. You moved on with your life as if I never existed. You found a new soulmate who has your undivided attention.

I can’t help but to be jealous.

Where was this attention when I was around? I stayed. I stayed after the other girl. I stayed while you were still growing up. I stayed after being left at a gas station. I stayed after the assault. I stayed throughout the manipulation. I stayed through all the cruel jokes. I stayed after all the disrespect. I stayed even when your drove my self worth and self esteem to the dirt. I stayed through it all and it was still not enough to keep your attention.

It’s not that I want you back. Trust me, I found a new self-love more like self-like that knows I deserve better than that. But it hurts, to be the one who went through hell to see some other one get what you once dreamed.

While you are forgetting me, I am still cleaning all the trash you left behind. I’m healing a new fear that you’ve unlocked. Trying to find all the pieces of myself that you scattered around.

I lied.

I am not glad at all. I want to haunt your memories and cause you the same nightmares. I want to break both femurs again because the one time karma did was not enough. I want you to feel the same hurt that I go through to this day. I wish I could bring you to ruins and destroy your self worth.

But, the only thing I can bring myself to do is to heal myself. The best revenge is to recreate what you once thought you destroyed. Become who I once was. To forget about you all together and act like you never existed.