Flameless Spirit Part 1

Lilliana has lived her life with only Dominic and Isaac as her family. She knows nothing of her bloodline. After having gone missing for over a year she is found, but she can no longer feel her beast.

Frustrated, she ran past him and sped up along the track. Her mind was still clouded from what happened, whatever had taken place. How does she not have any memories of where she had been for a year, why she no longer felt the beast inside anymore, and why Dominic betrayed her. That hurt the most. Not the brutal scars that marred the smooth skin all over her body. But knowing that someone who is was so close to her, someone who she called brother, can offer betrayal so easily. Rage welled up inside her chest as she pushed herself to run harder. She is the pack leader, the Alpha. She should be able to stand on her own, be strong on her own and move on from whatever the hell had happened to her. She can hide her ugly scars and put on her warrior persona. Her mind began to drift through memories of Dominic, back when he was all she had in life. She yanked her mind back, slamming that door closed, unwilling to process his betrayal. She was always clear minded, unafraid, and confident with any difficult situation. She felt angry tears begin to form in her bright jade eyes.

“I’m so damn pathetic.” She cursed to herself. Her voice sounded weak and foreign to her. Was it because she could no longer draw on the strength of her soul? The beast inside?

A familiar scent surrounded her suddenly and she was thrown out of her thoughts. She didn’t know how long she had been running for and didn’t realize that she had run off the path and was now surrounded in the thick vegetation of the forest. Slowing her pace to a walk she took a deep breath, letting the scent consume her. "Isaac." she whispered to herself. He presence brought her comfort and eased her troubled thoughts for just a moment.

"Lilliana." Despite knowing he was there, her heart jumped a little at the sound of his voice. Isaac, the man who had been with her for as long as she could remember. He jogged out of the dark brush and slowed to a walk next to her. She acknowledged him with a nod of her head and began to jog again. She was unsure if she really felt like talking to him right now. Her emotions were out of control and didn’t want anyone, especially Isaac, to see her so weak. She didn’t want him to know just how broken she felt, how truly lost she was. He had always there for her, ready to defend and yet was never afraid to stand up and speak against her, something that no else did, except for Dominic. She wasn’t sure how she truly felt about Isaac. He confused her, kept her on her toes with every conversation they had. He made her question herself and at the same time reassured her.

"Are you going to say anything to me, Lilliana?" Isaac had matched his pace with hers and again her heart jumped at the sound of his voice. She took a moment to steady her voice. "Isaac, I don't feel like talking right now and honestly I just want to be left alone. Note, I was running alone." She wasn't sure if that was entirely true, especially since she has felt so alone since she came back. He represented home, something familiar in this time of chaos, but also reminded her of what she had lost and could never get back. Irritated with her uncertainty with herself she quickened her pace to a sprint to distance herself from Isaac. He simply sped up too, but fortunately made the decision to stay a few strides back from her as they ran silently, only the sound of light padding of his feet against the soft ground to let her know he was there.

She weaved in and out of trees, felt the cool breeze chill her warm face. The earth, soft after the rain, thudding beneath her feet. Lilliana listened to the wildlife around her, the birds’ wings flapping, the squirrels burrowing in their nests. She soaked in all her surroundings as she closed her eyes and slowed her pace until she was standing still. She wanted to let the beast consume her again, to run with the wild like she used to. She missed running, the sounds of the forest around her, the feeling the cool sharp wind against her as her long hair whipped behind her. Again, she felt the buildup of tears. “I’m so damn pathetic.” she thought to herself again, as she lifted her head to the sky. She was completely lost her senses. Consumed by the forest, taking in everything it had to offer her and appealed to her wildness. Everything slipped out of her mind. She continued to listen to the orchestra of sounds from the forest until she heard Isaac’s footsteps as he approached her. She opened her eyes and blinked several times to get rid of the moisture in them. She realized her clothes were damp from the air and were sticking to her skin uncomfortably. She inhaled the scent of the forest deeply one last time to ground herself and turned towards the direction of his footsteps.

He was walking quietly, his face seemed relaxed, except for the strain in the muscles along his jaw. He dark curls were a mess on top of his head from the wind, his cool blue eyes, fixed on hers. Because of his tall stature and long legs, it took him only a few long strides before he was in front of her. Her body tensed expecting for him to say something harsh about how she was ignoring everyone the past few days. Leave it to him to call her out on her crap. To her surprise, he wrapped his arms around her in a strong embrace. She stiffened. He didn't say anything and neither did she. She simply stood there with her arms to her sides, not sure what to do, listening to his strong heartbeat. It was beating faster than normal- probably from running so long, she thought. Again, his scent overwhelmed her. She felt the heat of his body warm her from the inside out and her small frame began to melt into his. She closed her eyes not wanting to move, needing the comfort he was offering to her. However, she slid her hands between them and placed them on his broad chest. Her fingers splayed wide and yet her hands still seemed child-sized compared to him. She felt his strong muscles tighten as she attempted to push away from him.

"Don't. Don’t you dare." he whispered. His voice sounded strained as he tightened his arms around her. "I can’t let you go right now."

__________________________________________ 

"Isaac, I need to breathe in something other than your sweat." Laying her head against his chest, she didn't mind his smell. There was something soothing about his natural scent. It brought her comfort and grounded her when everything else seemed so chaotic around her. The only thing that was chaotic now was how hard her heart was beating against his. It was all the running she told herself.

Isaac laid his head on hers and inhaled her scent deeply. He would never forget her aroma. The warm smell of the wild laced with cinnamon.  He ran his fingers through her soft hair and felt her body relax against his.

He couldn't believe she was back.  He had gone wild with rage when he learned of her disappearance. His failure to keep his promise, to guard her. It had been his duty to protect Lilliana, to keep her safe from Them. He never gave up looking for her. He searched the entire damned country. He followed leads in Europe, chased each rumor until nothing was left. When he realized Dominic was missing too, he believed his worst fears had been confirmed. They had found us.

Dominic. The coward. He was supposed to be there for her. The feeling of disgust rose in his stomach.

Finally, he let go of her and took a step back. He took a long look at her, soaking in her sight. Her honey-blonde curly hair was a windblown mess. The curls were wild tumbling down her back and shoulders, framing her face. Her face looked exactly the way he remembered, except for her sunken eyes. God knows he pictured her face every night as he laid in bed awake. Her body, however, looked as though she had been tortured. He could see the lingering faint yellow-green bruises along her collar bone. While they were running he could see the edges of two or three scars showing from the top of her shirt up towards her neck. While she had always had a few scars, he knew that those were new.  They were still a pinkish-red as they healed. She also looked like she had lost weight, though he doubted she even noticed. How could she notice these things when she couldn't even remember the last year?

"Are you going to continue to stare or did you want something? And what the hell was the hug for?" His gaze flickered back to hers. She had dark circles around he eyes from lack of sleep and they dull. Still, he could get lost in her deep green eyes. They were speckled with yellow, very unusual. She looked as if she stern, but he could see by her eyes just how much she was falling apart.

 "Just had to make sure you were real." He joked with a slight smile.

"Well I am."

"You sure felt real to me."

 "Again, did you need something specific or are you just here to ruin my peaceful run?" she feigned being irritated.

"You didn't look at peace to me.” He said. “I know the past few days have been hard since you returned…” he paused measuring her unease with the change in conversation. “I have given you the space you need. I know you can't remember anything and I'm not here to ask you to-"  He just needed to know They had her.

"Then why are you here Isaac." she interrupted in a low whisper. She was looking at something off in the distance, attempting to distract herself from looking at Isaac, only at Isaac. She heard him sigh and betrayed herself by looking back at him. She looked as if her confident composure was about to shatter. As if it was all a charade of how she is really feeling deep under everything. He knew what ever happened to her left more than just a few scars on her. Gently, he placed his hands on her face and rubbed away the tears that began to fall. He pulled her into a gentle hug while she sobbed into his chest quietly. He stroked her hair down to her back and stopped suddenly clenching his jaw, his body stiff. He could feel more raise lines through her shirt. He wanted to turn her around an examine her, to see the damage on her body, but he knew better right now. He fought back the urge to go over every inch of her. Her had grown even quieter now, but she continued to tremble.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into his shirt. Her voice was nothing, but a thin thread of sound. "I wish I remembered what happened, but I don't. I have tried, but I am feeling so many things right now and I can't sort out anything.” She swallowed hard and forced her air into her lungs. “There are fragments, impressions, but my head aches when I think about them. Then, there is Dominic-" She stopped and bit her lip. He felt rage boil in his gut again at the sound of his name. B*****d.

She did not want to break down again.  She wanted to work out all her feelings until she could handle everything on her own, but at the same time. . . "I just don't know what I am doing right now or where to pick back up again. I have felt so alone even though I’m home.”

She broke away from him and began walking back in the direction of her cabin, he fell into pace right beside her. She had to admit to herself that she felt a little lighter after venting.

"You're not alone, Lilliana. Your friends and pack are here. We didn't give up on you and you shouldn't give up on yourself. You are a very strong woman and a very capable leader.”  He fought the urge to stop and hold her again. He didn’t know how to make things right. He knew things would never go back to the way that things were.

"How about you and I just hang out like we used to? We can go back to your place, kick back and watch some stupid movie."

Dominic, Isaac, and Lilliana used to do just that almost every night when it was just the three of them. Occasionally, they managed to find the time to keep up the tradition once the pack grew larger, but now it will be different without Dominic.

"Thanks Isaac, but I don't know if I feel like-“

"Oh, you will when you see what else I bought." He elbowed her, trying to coax out her playful nature.  His eyes narrowed at her. "In fact, let's race. If I beat you, I get it all to myself."

 "You know I am faster than you. What if I win?" she challenged.

"Well. . . you’ll have to find out." he said as he took off running. Lilliana quickly took off after him not only catching up easily, but passing him and leaving him in the dust. As they raced along to the house, her legs began to ache. It seems to have been forever since she ran that fast and that hard. Many of her muscles felt stiff and sore, but she ignored it. In her head, she thanked Isaac for the distraction. She pushed he body to go faster. She breathed heavily as she raced up the stairs to the house and stopped suddenly to shout her victory. Isaac came up behind her, just as out of breath as she is.

"You cheated. You used whatever it is you Alpha’s have to win." He said between breaths.

"That is what you get for challenging an Alpha, you fool." She smirked as she walked into the house. "Now, what did I win?"

She kicked her shoes off by the door and padded onto the hardwood floors. Lilliana inhaled the warm scent of her home. The deep smell of wood. The memory of her return flooding back to her.

_______________________________________

She was running through the mountains, in the woods. Barefoot. In terrible pain and terrified. She stumbled on foliage and fell into the dirt. She braced her fall with her hands and began to slide down the steep hill she had been running up. Lilliana bit her lip to keep from crying out as she gripped at anything she could to stop her descent. She tumbled into a tree, her head knocking against the trunk. She felt dizzy and bile rose into her throat.  After taking a moment for her stomach to settle she stood, using the trunk of the tree for support. The bark bit into her back, scrapped at the tender wounds on her back. She cried out softly, forcing back tears.  She steadied herself, listening for the voices that had been following her.

She took off running again, all she could think about is getting away. Needed to be free from the torture. She thought of the man who helped her, she didn’t see his face. He didn’t speak to her. He simply pressed a key into her palm. His hand was warm.

Her lungs were burning, he legs trembled beneath her. Blood was pounding in her skull. The earth seemed to roll and shudder under her feet. She heard her feet thud against hard wood, just as the world went black and fell.

Author's Note

This is the first story I have ever written and has been adjusted many times so far. I want to continue developing this story, but need feedback first. Thank you so much :)