The Making of a Monster

The Monster You Made

My howls echo down the moon-lite halls of time,
They shatter the fraying silent mirror and my ears.
Spiky pain vibrates through the strings of my mind,
My body is racked with torturing pains of sorrows.
This haunted soul is like a blood-red strobe in the abyss.

My spirit explodes in violence vaporizing all.
I expand to the jaggy edges of cold infinity, 
While greedy entropy nips close at my heels.
It all devours my fracturing soul in the hard vacuum.
All the stars have fallen; no light can I see; Am I forsaken?

The shiny angels do not dispel the black cancerous lies.
The demented demons do not hide the white blinding truth.
Du hasst mich, ich hasse mich und du hast mich.
You have twisted and drawn me to the blurry brink.
I am haunted with memories, some that are not mine.

Memories of great joy and of terrible pain I harbor.
Until the end of time, I will cherish them all.
Both bring salt to my lips refusing to quench my thirst.
See who I am, can you reach for my quivering hand?
I have stood my ground for so long, but it is shifting beneath.

My energy now wavering and sputtering in the void,
I'm like a fading star dying in emptiness and doubt.
Take me away before I implode and destroy all.
Heaven and Hell spurn me; Am I broken and betrayed? 
I am recognizable now no more to anyone or anyplace.

Reviews

[Nessly]

This is definitely a dark poem.

Thanks, Cerveise!

-V

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reading and reviewing my dark poem.

[Nessly]

You're welcome.

[Diane]

well, you had me at "Du hasst mich, ich hasse mich und du hast mich." . I am a Ramstein fan.

I liked the poem. You used great wording and it was easy to follow.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for your review. Yes, Ramstein is one of my favorite bands. I play some of their songs on my Internet radio station.

[barleygirl]

You've done a great job of depicting a torturous state of being, and suggesting this is the monster some other person made. Many people engage in this type of thinking -- I'm all messed up & you did it. So in this way, your message is true-to-human-nature.

Also, there are many well-crafted phrases that heighten the gory sensations by adding alliteration & other emphasis becuz of words chosen for how they sound: "Spiky pain vibrates through the strings of my mind" . . . and "You have twisted and drawn me to the blurry brink." This really does feel like a person with a monstrous amount of pain & anguish.

Sooo . . . even tho your message is well-stated & well-crafted, I also despise the idea that one person can MAKE another person be or do anything. We are all responsible for our own actions in life. We can't change other people, we can only change ourselves. So I totally reject this concept, even tho you've done a great job of expressing it.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thanks for your review. Often people think the other entity in my poems is what I am writing about. Many times it is true but not in this case.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Look at the title again and read it differently, as if you were reading to me.

[barleygirl]

I did read this a couple more times, but I'm not catching anything differently . . .

[H.L. Cerveise]

Okay, let me say this poem is not about two different people. There is no one on the outside involved in this. Now you might ask, why do you not make this clearer? Well, most of my poems have alternative meanings. What one reader takes from it will be different than the next. You took from it what you saw, other readers will get from it their own meaning. I like that, no one is wrong or right in how they see things. It depends on were their heart and mind are at that given time.

[barleygirl]

I understand what you're saying . . . and I understand how this can be about a person and whatever entity is inside him/herself that is wrecking his/her life. It's still feels like a form of scapegoat to me, instead of owning one's own torturous inclinations.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

This is so deep and so nicely penned. Great work there. Words and wit form an awesome combination. Keep writing.

[H.L. Cerveise]

Thank you for reviewing this writing.

[Emily]

Lovely poem!!
I can see some similarities between this and my poem 'Monster'.
Keep it up!!