dec 22

make this be a reminder for everytime you expect your mother to do anything you expect her to do. you know her priorities. you know you’re not one. you know this just happens and it’s not your fault. she’s just this way and it’s dumb to expect more from her at all. don’t show her you’re sad or your crying cause then she’ll feel guilty. and she hates feeling guilty. she’ll make it about her and she’ll say something like “oooh i feel so bad.” whatever. stifle and be stubborn. tell her you don’t care because even if you did she wouldn’t change. and you’d be more hurt cause you told her you cared and she ignored you and did this again. i know it hurts but i have you. and you have me. confess and be free while i carry the burden of you’re neglect. explicitly inept. i just want to be alone. don’t say sorry. don’t talk. just let me be.