Ocean

(no description)

I lay here in painful silence
Not a single word is spoken
I long to fill a terrible void
That I may be satisfied
For I am broken
My spirit tempts you towards me
And pulls you with a longing gaze
To caress you in my cold embrace
And drown you
In my breathless ocean

Reviews

[Angi]

This is full of despair and acceptance, too. I see a deceptively gentle ocean in front of me. Grey skies and grey water, too. There is no sunshine and there is no warm breeze. I am chilled. One slip and I am drowning. Angi~

[wynn]

Thanks for the review Angi :)

[Frieda P]

Power packed and full of emotion....the ocean is awe inspiring, goes quite well with this piece. Great read wynn.

[wynn]

Thanks for the review Frieda! :)

[Frieda P]

My pleasure wynn, muchly enjoyed this one. :-)

[steppenwolf]

This is short but as it should be...this is what poetry is all about!

[wynn]

Thanks steppenwolf!

[Rita L. Sev]

I long to fill a terrible void
That I may be satisfied...

Powerful lines in this short piece. Great job creating a sense of despair. Eerily beautiful, the image of the "breathless ocean..."

[wynn]

thanks for the review! nice to see you rita :)

[Rita L. Sev]

You too, Wynn - recognized your pic. Glad to see you back at the Cafe! :)

[Chris]

Seems many spend time sitting on seawalls at the beach watching and watching the waves come ashore.

Read well aloud... especially if you get caught up in the flow and naturally speed the voice.

[wynn]

yes - my biggest concern was that it reads well in the reader's head as well as vocally..
thanks for the review :)

[Chris]

Strange how - if you really look close - it seems everyplace has the equivalent of a seawall that people gather and sit upon to stare off into the distance at only what they can see.