Keep checking up on the story, as I change it every day, before it will be completed.

Just an idea of a story, should I continue? Thought's please and correction of my grammar please.

The heartbeat of the small girl with brown plaits and pink bows echoed through the empty, cold room. "I-is there anyone there?" Her voice cracked, a frightened sob had crept through her facade. The repeat of her call bounced back and hit her harder than the psychopath ever could. She sat in the corner, enclosed in her own fear, shaking and crying; the salty drops stained her petticoat, a mark that would soak through the thin fabric and onto her quickly rising and falling chest to witness her heart beat its last.

The metallic clang of the door swinging open would awaken the heaviest of sleepers, but she wasn't sleeping. "Josella!" Screamed the mother; she ran towards the lifeless body. Her hands flew to her mouth to hold back her silent cry, the blood dripped from the child's forehead, over her delicate nose and through many other wounds. "Josella! Josella! Josella!" The wailing continued until the mother could not speak any longer and her arms grew tired of shaking the limp corpse. 

Josella's cocoa eyes reflected her mother's broken face and loss of logic, her body shook when her mother's fell onto her, once complete, skeleton. The wooden spike that was lodged in the youth's head stuck out like her last cry in the silent room. Her once beating heart stood still as her mother's weakened and threatened to stop.

Once again, the door opened, the mother was so distressed that she couldn't hear him creep up on her. A breath whistled through her ears, the last sound she ever heard. The mother's body was stripped of all it's ribs and rapped up in the clothes in which she had came in. Their blood met and flowed together as one over his hands while he stroked the crimson liquid with a child's fascination. His eyes were empty and hollow for even though the blood did cover every inch of his hand, he still could not see it, or feel anything at all.

After an hour of playing with the blood and taking out different bones from the corpses, he caressed their faces good-bye, changed his clothes and set off, leaving another site of murder behind.

On the streets, people would often stare at him, his attractive features got him a lot of attention. Mad eyes scanned the streets, looking for another victim, a tense face confused the passers-by. 

Little children would look at him and cry, they could sense that he was a wrong character on the street, even though no one else could. He held his own hand and stroked his knuckles, not even the spring sun could warm his hands. The insides of his lip was bleeding from his teeth cutting through his soft skin. The taste tickled his tongue, as it always had. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, but did we go to school together? I think we did! Do you want to get a drink sometime?" Squeaked a doomed blonde girl, she was self absorbed and overconfident. 

The nod of his head was one of confusion and excitement. Another victim. His nervous hand actions stopped and clenched into fists at his sides. 

"Brilliant, so, I'll see you tonight at The Crown and Rose, nine o'clock!" She beamed, clapping her soon-to-be-dicapitated hands.

She walked away with a spring in her step, he walked away with a plan in his head.

He sat on the hard floor, listening to the steady beat of the clock ricocheting around the derelict walls of his flat. 

"What are you doing? Please stop! Please!" He replayed her words over and over again. The child's voice was high pitched and pathetic. He combined her words, with the words of many other children. 

"Sir! Sir!"

"Mr, who are you?"

"What do you want?!"

"Please leave me alone!"

"My Mummy said not to talk to strangers!"

"Please! Please!"

Why were they all shouting? Why was everyone so loud? Couldn't he have silence? Always the calling, as if they could be heard. As if they could be saved.

8:30 exactly, not a second later, he stood up very suddenly and walked out the door, his eyes glowing, his pupils enlarging, his eyelids twitching. The game was starting.

"Hey! Do you remember me? I'm Amber, from secondary school. Wasn't your name J-" She beamed, with so much happiness, it shouldn't have been possible.

"Yes." He interrupted her, with urgency. His hands were quivering, she put her hands over his.

"Don't be scared of me! I won't hurt you!" She said softly with a tender smile. Words he had never said, words he had always wanted to say.

She spent the rest of the evening talking about school, reminiscing the things he had never been a part of. The dull lights of the pub glowed with the red of the wallpaper, the jolly atmosphere and the alcohol seemed to make the room even lighter, but he sat silently, just nodding his head. 

Author's Note

I've added a bit, read up!

Reviews

[Muriel]

Certainly could make a horror book! How creepy too that the guy looked nice so women were attracted to him. Interesting how kids knew he was horrible right away! Good writing for "horror". Sincerely, Muriel PS I read you are only 12? Wow, what writing for a 12 year old. I bet your teachers might be shocked by some of this, but look at the famous writers who used their imaginations and how rich they are today IE - Stephan Spielberg! Take care.

[Kes]

Eeek! I'm scared! You have a very dark mind, Rosy. I can never decide if that's a good thing or not... Probably not... I do know, however, that it produces the most fantastic literature! This is a great story! In the darkest, scariest way possible...
Xx

[Kes]

Whoa! I love it!!
Continue! Continue! Please!
I like how the killer/psychopath is so childlike... almost as if he'd kill himself just to see what it felt like, you know? But at the same time, feeling so numb - so empty. And you've created half his personality already in just a few words.
Love it!
Xx

[guv]

yeah, i agree with lizabeth, this is really good,

it so dense, every sentance is isgnificant, keep it up, would love to see the rest

[Elizabeth]

Wow... what a gripping start to what I'm sure will be a fantastic story. But she is not sleeping...oooh.Chills. Love this. Definitely continue this one.