Her eyes aren't green

I got lost
in her eyes,
I felt guilty
-guilt
prevented
further exploration
and left me
wanting.

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

Talk about one that leaves the mind wandering... wondering... so few words... yet.. what color were her eyes?....

So many questions.. leaves you with the feeling of regret.. longing... curiosity.. shame....
very nicely done.... thought-provoking and evocative... says so much, but leaves so much open at the same time... love how you did that.......

[Inda]

Thanks! I feared it was too vaugue?

[AprilRN1210]

nope.. not if you wanted the reader to think... to question.. to make their own assumptions.. it does that very well.. depends on what you were trying to convey.. were the feelings that I said that you evoked correct? were they the ones you wanted me to feel? if so then I would say leave as is...

[Inda]

Thanks, i did want the reader to be left well, wanting.

[AprilRN1210]

well, wanting to know more yes... lol

wanting as in lusting after?... not really there.. we feel the guilt especially with the repetition there...

[Inda]

Wanting more yeah

[AprilRN1210]

Then I would say it is a success.. good job... :)

[Frontier]

Sometimes it is best to not look in too deep.......I truly like this. Amazing job.

[Baby Ricochet]

Yeah guilt will do that. .........

[Inda]

Yeah, it tends to do that. Thanks for stopping by!