Release

What I had is not what I have.

I can only think when I felt,

what you gave was something real.

Your smile you gave when first began.

Never reached your eyes for me.

A blush averted on compiment sown.

My heart provides the false pretense.

Your attention mine was only tasked.

To provide for me a glimpse of not.

I pour emotion of risk unknown,

until speech none reciprocity blown.

I wonder if this wall I climb,

will endless be the journy seem.

It hurts now to realize thus

You will never give of yourself

Interact with time undone

now consumes your inner mind.

Distance once close at hand,

only now appear accustomed there.

I give you time you desire,

knowing now only later.

What you provided at the start,

was merely masked for my ambition.

Anger now I feel abound concealed.

My fault before this crime unseen.

Experience of pain I could have followed,

who'd have known love's heart so keen.

Move on from all so mending creates,

again embrace the sweet release.

Author's Note

no structure as usual, just trying to express.