How Comparison May Be Affecting Your Marriage

It is difficult not to compare our marriage to those of others. However, comparison can negatively affect your marriage.

It is unavoidable to not compare our relationship to those of others. However, we need to be careful as comparing your marriage can have an adverse effect on your relationship. One reason for this comparison is that you probably see from others things that you want to apply in your own marriage. This could be something that you haven’t thought about or were not aware of.

Unfortunately, most of the time, this comparison can create regrets, bad emotions, and resentment. Relationship comparisons are usually inaccurate. It can create social isolation, feelings of jealousy and anger towards your partner.

If you are feeling that way, think that you don’t really know what is going in someone else’s marriage. Most people show what they want others to see. In most situations, they are not even close to reality and will just cause you pain for no reason.

Another thing to consider is that your happiness or misery has nothing to do with someone else’s. You should learn from someone’s positive attributes but do not devalue your relationship. When you start comparing, your partner will feel criticized and responsible for what is lacking. This will just lead to arguments or guilt. If your marriage is having issues, it is important to focus on them and deal with them instead of comparing it. You may want to consider seeking advice from an experienced couples therapist. Each marriage is unique, and other couples have their own advantages and disadvantages.

Realize that we all have adversities and you should focus on solving your own relationship problems instead of having to worry about others’.

Author Bio:

Irina Firstein, LCSW has been in private practice in New York City for over 20 years. Having lived most of her personal and professional life in Manhattan, she has a keen understanding of the professional, financial and social challenges of living there. She believes that effective therapy brings about growth and change and it occurs in the atmosphere of safety, trust, connection and collaboration. To learn more, visit her website .