How to Make the Perfect Sandwich: A Reflective Satire

There's a flawless recipe to anything. Ingredients providing instant gratification to suffice an appetite so great. Everyone loves sandwiches. You can get them anywhere and everyone has his or her favorite. My sandwich reflects my hunger and what I crave when I just need a bite.
Start with a dirty, chipped China plate. Throw it on the ground. Pick up the shrapnel and put it all back together. Use tape, not glue. Put it on a well-lit decorative table.
Grab the bun. Hollow out the insides as much as possible without breaking through the exterior.
Lightly spread the mustard, mayo, and your legs just enough to taste.
Use the meat of your choice. If you're looking for salty, use ham. If you're looking for a healthier option, try turkey. My sandwiches tend to have a plentiful portion of my wasted, difficult childhood memories combined with the repetition of my current fake, abusive relationships. Pile it high, creating a complex, intense flavor that lingers on the tastebuds.
Cheese is optional. It offsets the flavor of the meat, in my opinion. Although, I will not lie, if I share the sandwich with others, I put on my favorite cheese; which is an array of corny bullshit jokes with a hint of a permanently plastered smile. People tend to like my sandwich with cheese better, however, it is completely optional. If this cheese is unobtainable to you, provolone is fine.
Slice up a couple nice, juicy pits of despair when no one is watching. Cover with a fresh, crisp leaf of existential, complicated and dark thoughts. Season with dashes of lust, manipulation, and anxiety.
Serve with a side of a wasted intelligent mind and a pickle. Feel free to share with friends or even the family who never seems to check on you and see if you're alright.
This recipe may seem complicated and time consuming, but ne'er forget, it's the Perfect Sandwich.

Author's Note

It's a rough short story I thought I'd whip up. I got it from one of my professors writing prompts, not going to lie. Just a little something to make my boring day go by faster. Thank you for reading. Enjoy.

Reviews

[Tha Wind AKA VERBAL OX]

Yo, yo, ok, ok, at first I didn't really want any parts of your sandwich. Yet as I continued to read and re-read through it; it started to happen. I could taste all the lyrical satire. The intertwining of food, emotions, and metaphors produced a well deserved mental hand clap. When I read a piece that's really fly, I think to myself how come I didn't write that. Nice sandwich yo. Kudos to you.

[Inject Positivity]

Very lovely use of metaphors... I can feel a sense of hurt that hides in the author's heart... You have presented a deeply thought provoking work here which came from your experience with life, and using the sandwich and other ingredients of it makes it very catchy for the reader...

Very well told story, and I believe it is the true recipe of sandwich... You did so well with the metaphor... Lovely...

Sincerely
Dhiman