Hell

Where will you end up?

Hell

By Jack Ivey

 

Broken dreams of scattered fears

Truth is lost amongst the flame

Deafening the scream filled tears

Anguish fuels the constant rain

Blood now soaks the molten mound

Scars once lost do stand and face

Silence laughs a sickened sound

Splintered flesh of human waste

 

Salt does pour from creviced stone

Embers pierce dissected hearts

Carving deep into the bone

Night and day of stagnant dark

 

Whispers in the shadows play

Tricks upon confusion’s mind

Nothingness doth fill thy day

Agony of serpent’s tine

Come my Brother, meet the beast

Feel it’s breath of sorted flow

Taste its juices born the feast

Stay, for thee shall never go

Reviews

[s y e]

Mmmmm, for me, it's hell. For sure. But you, my friend you are going to be someone's guardian Angel...

[Jack...]

Wow my friend, now you are going deeply underground. This has to be one of the first pieces I posted on this site. I think I had like 4 friends at the time. :) Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

[Aethereal]

You’re reminding me of Milton in this poem: Your first verse inspired me to write this gift quatrain for you as a gift which you may keep as your own: It’s in /0/0/0/ seven syllable meter:

Hell

In this place of endless pain
of eternal flame and fear,
they beg, but they beg in vain
for a single caring tear.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much my friend.

[Aethereal]

You're welcome! I think that this is what Milton would have said. You should read "Paradise Lost".

[Jack...]

I did a very long time ago, but perhaps I will revisit it.

[TL Boehm]

Silence laughs a sickened sound
Splintered flesh of human waste

Salt does pour from creviced stone
Embers pierce dissected hearts
Carving deep into the bone

a gutteral write. It has that same structure as your gentler work - the solid meter and rhyme but the content. OH MY. Such sanguine ink in this. Well done.

[Jack...]

Darn Tammy, talk about digging in the vault. This was an older piece of mine, but nonetheless. I am happy you enjoyed. Thank you so much for your kind review.

[TL Boehm]

I used to delete anything older than a year here at the cafe - then I changed my mind and am bringing the motheaten stuff back little by little. Its often wonderful to scrounge around on someones older posts -there's often real gemstones there.

[Jack...]

Well, I've only been here since January, so my 1st year isn't up yet.

[TL Boehm]

Sticks tongue out at Jack. Makes raspberry noises. I'm older'n you! skips off page singing....

[Purplerose]

Wow! Powerful this is. Gave me chills. :)

[Jack...]

Thank you so much.

[Frieda P]

I can taste this read, I breathe it in, it's acrid, and palpable in it's pain. You've brought it to life with your wonderfully talented, creative way of telling it like it is....

It's biting and caustic to say the least but still delicious to read. Nice one.

[Jack...]

Thanks, I wrote this for the horror magazine Dark Eclipse some time ago and thought I would share it here. Happy you enjoyed it.

[Frieda P]

Did you do the artwork? My pleasure Jack.

[Jack...]

I did, but it is graphic art, not hand painted.

[Frieda P]

It's good...graphic art has it's place too, this was it.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

wickedly dark, a face I don't care to see. Well done.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much.

[Sami Khalil]

Whispers in the shadows play

Tricks upon confusion’s mind

Nothingness doth fill thy day

Agony of serpent’s tine.
My favorite lines in this nice write...