Stoned Stupidity

Yes I am....

Stoned Stupidity

 

It is within this rock I sit

Encased in regret, solidified guilt mortality

Hurt friend’s tear drops etch’d

Dead for all sense and purpose

Shifting on ancient sand’s sorrow

Blistered by dire gale forces breathing

Stoic between cracks in the lies

Weathering at rapid paces of mistaken footsteps

A mausoleum of loneliness

Branded with hot iron’d deceptions

Deafened of heartbreak earthquake tremors

Hammer and chiseled contaminates

Crushed bits of worthless rubble

Scattered in anguish’d apologies

Stoned by stupidity…

 

…dust on the wind

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Sometimes tis better and wiser to just sit quietly, letting the wild world of thoughts and all pass by.. long term, long sigh. Works for me, these days. Just remember tween all that emotion that you're as human as most and far, far more human than that rock!

Glad to see you back, Peace, light.. and starshine.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we all make mistakes...we can atone only so long, residing within our stone...but forgiveness starts with forgiving ourselves....

the stone can move, or be moved...

[Jack...]

I suppose you are right Jacob, but forgiving myself has proved to be a difficult stone to move.

[Pryde Foltz]

Crushed bits of worthless rubble
Scattered in anguish’d apologies
Stoned by stupidity…

…dust on the wind

Believing does not make one stupid, Jack. It makes one brave … betraying the trust of one who gives you love is stupid. You are one of the wisest men I know. You show us that everyday.

[Jack...]

Pryde, thank you, but I am not as wise as you make me out to be. Stupid fits me nicely.

[Rachelle]

Regret and conscience eat us into stagnant shadows of ourselves.

[Jack...]

Indeed it does and this guilt is having a feast on me. Thanks so much Rachelle

[redzone]

Stupidity will get you every time Jack... I feel the pain and heart felt apology in your words, but in our virtual world, it is even more difficult to show and act on the pain we cause others... and that is even more important than the words, the way we act towards one another... hopefully the one you hurt can actually see and feel that you are yes, sorry, but also willing to change and learn how to be a better person... it is too late to take back what was done and said, but it is never too late to be a better man, better human being.. I for one have confidence that you can Jack, partly because of the poem you have written and partly cause it takes a good person to admit they are wrong, have cause pain in someone dear to them and are willing to do better... look them in the eyes and reveal your heart... and I think these are the things that are so lacking in the world today..

guess this comment is rather convoluted, but I know this pain all too well, There are many mornings I wake with this guilt that I have caused so much pain... in a society that pits us against each other, it is very hard to come together equally, even with those we care and love most deeply.. I think in this case it is us who should thank you for writing this poem.. ~~redzone

[Jack...]

Mr. Redzone, you have understood completely my meaning. The regret is so large in me that it makes it hard to go on. Yes, indeed, stupidity does come and visit me often, sometimes I think it hides in my shaodw waiting for those weak moments and I seem to fall for it everytime. But this time the pain I caused was immense and I just can not get this guilt out of me. I am not sure if the friendship can ever be repaired, but I am going to do my best to try and make that happen. I am having a very hard time living with myself for what I have done to another. I probably don't deserve forgivness but I sure hope it happens.

Thanks so much for your kind review and words of encouragement.

[Brittany Zedalis]

This is extremely sad but I love how honest you are in your poetry. You never really seem to hold anything back, and that is something I feel adds to being a great writer.

[Jack...]

Thanks Brittany, but honesty it seems is not one of my strong suits. I appreciate your kindness.

[s y e]

My dear sweet friend, this is a painful read for me... I wanted to cry with you, and shed my tears but at the same time I want to wipe away your tears and tell you everything is going to be okay, and I know it will... we all do make mistakes, no one is perfect because if we were perfect life would boring and weird and kind of pointless in a way. We're human and even though we hurt the ones who mean the world and more, we will find countless ways to say I am sorry and show them how much they mean to us and how much we love them.

// A mausoleum of loneliness
Branded with hot iron’d deceptions
Deafened of heartbreak earthquake tremors
Hammer and chiseled contaminates //

This just about killed me Jack... I cannot explain in words how much this affected me. You're strong Jack, you may not feel it but you are, we all know you are and we are here to pick you up when you want to fall, when you feel that life is closing in on you. It's what friends do, we stick by each other through thick and thin.

I hope everything looks up my friend.

[David Scott]

Maybe we are all worms and dust... It is true. TO A POINT.
We are the dust infused with the Spirit of our Creator Jack. IMO...
You are the dust of a stained glass artifact of life, truth and love.
By creating such a sorrowful and humble write you show you are far more than a stone to trip up the cosmos.
You disprove your own proclamation by the act of confessing your heart here...
I love your honesty and exposed heart here Jack! Well penned.

[Jack...]

David, your review brings me to my knees. Your words have wrapped themselves around me and whispered it will be okay. I am not afraid to admit, I have shed many tears lately and I got to the point where I felt I didn't have any more to give...I was at the end of that line...but your kindness today has started that flow again. Thank you so much for your friendship. Your words could not mean more to me if they were written in pure gold.

[David Scott]

I am so happy to be a friend to you Jack. Let me know if I can help your heart heal in any way. I am sincere in what I say and I understand the many levels of pain in this life.
You have much to offer this world Jack. You are human. To make mistakes is human, but to forgive, forgive wrongs, circumstance, fate, even yourself, is a Devine gift.
I am glad to bring a cup of water to your dry land today. It may be the reason I am here at all, to lift you up? Yet it is not I, but the Creator's love within me who has given you new life today. It is not my spirit but His; not my words but those He has given you to write in a humble supplication to your true purpose in life.
I am happy to affirm this to you.

[Jack...]

Thanks David but just so you know...the "Stoned" in the title doesn't apply to me, the "Stupidity" does.

[David Scott]

I think I understand a little... ;)
Glad your profile is up and running.

[Shirlena]

Sometimes it is unfortunate that what we feel is a friendship doesn't appear so friendly. Over the past few years I've obtained many friendships only to find that it wasn't as it seemed. When the mettle of those relationships are tested is when you find out whether a person is truly in your corner. If when these moments arise the two of you can't sit down and resolve the problem and you've done all you could on your part to make amends then more often than not the friendship won't survive and all you can do is wish them well and let it go but most importantly forgive yourself once you've realized you have exhausted your effort to make it work. I had to end 4 what I now realize were more like acquaintances over the last seven years and let me tell you...I saw them coming. Forgive yourself too Jack your poem is a testimony of your sorrow and it was done so graciously. Remorse these days are a rarity which is beautiful and a sign that you are obviously a kind person.

[Jack...]

Shirlena, I too have come across many acquaintances which I had hopes of becoming good friends that didn't work out that way and in those cases forgiving yourself is easy, however, when you hurt a true friend, to forgive yourself is not as easy a task as it may sound. Especially if you were completely at fault. Guilt is deadly, it can destroy, but only if you care. Thank you for your kind words. Truly you have touched me today and I can not even begin to tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to write this wonderful and helpful review of my work.

[Shirlena]

Well you're welcomed. I feel for you. It is obvious that you are suffering which let's me know that you probably have wasted anytime trying to make up for your error which is why I suggest that if you have done ALL that you can...you may have to be patient and if they are truly a friend they will forgive you. I don't begin to claim that ridding yourself of the guilt is easy but we fall short as human beings and one day if you're able to resolve this problem the shoe could be on the other foot. It is hard to be in a friendship where there is no forgiveness. I do hope it all works out for you Jack and you're welcomed.

[Jack...]

Thank you Shirlena, but there will never be "enough" in what I give to repair this weakened foundation.

[Aethereal]

Yes, but this awareness is sooooo sweet:

Stone

Somewhere lies a stone
forlorn and alone
where, sand, dust, and bone
moan, and moan, and moan.

[Jack...]

Thanks so much. The alone is the hardest part.

[Aethereal]

Where there's nothing, nothing's needed. Tranquility is to be found in every wilderness.