feverish delusion

i wish to be chaos in form,

some call it void, some think of it as pure disorder,

no need for it to be defined,

just tell me how and when it is i cease to try.

i pray to hecate once more,

i give her wine and mead to praise and sate,

i look at those for mocking me

and pity them “with chill distaste”.

i wanna know what’s that you think,

you ponder and contemplate.

i know we would be best each other’s selves

whatever grounds we were at,

i’d nudge you with my face and all,

you’d look at lashes of my eyes,

and guess who it is that made me up.

i’m not a sort of fiction yet try to be,

i wanna seem as chalant as they act -

those characters in line.

ah no matter what i do, i cease to be,

existing’s easy yet being’s not.

i’d treat your wounds,

i’d tend to you so dearly yet hotly,

vehemently they say.

just tell me what it is you want

and tell me please of your desire

i wish i could fulfill.

and as you’re here so i’m all ears

but acting all that business 

admiring from afar it is, afar yet closely,

enough i’d lose the track and start recalling

you smiling, kidding yet being kind.

arcane of yours is that of sun,

i’d fall for fate if i were that of moon,

however, does anyone believe in that?

believe to be that none.

Author's Note

it pained me to come up with anything but bottling up is even worse, just a post of appreciation to the one.