Leaving it up to me

Everyday I see more and more of the what I dont want to see,

Its the person that destroyed my life  to a  intolerable degree ...

He flooded my heart with liquid metal,making it hard and cold

Like an infectious diesease I noticed to late before he taked hold

His name is Jae,  Jae Breeze is what he likes being called to many

Easy on the eyes, smooth talker,can buy your heart without spending a penny..

Passionate at times, thoughtful and insightful, a model of  imperfection at its best

I indugled in his life and style ,filling my void becoming morbidly obessed

His name only has a certain ring to it, it flows off of people tongues

But his heart is cold and blacker than a coal miner's lungs

Thats what I like most about  him,the harder the heart,the more it takes to break

I have given "the Love of a few" to many ,and always ended up being a mistake.

The long walks,opening doors and doing the little things to produce a smile I did

And when the lights were  low ,I had more energy than the whole Eastern Power Grid...   

Being nice got me nothing!,Because showing them a softer side wasnt the way

Jae showed me that the worst you treat them the more they are willing to stay!

 I had to find  a way to deal with the pain of discontent ,  some type of immunity,

Then the ideal of  hope, a glimer of a new light presented itself has a great opportunity...

Change your name, your style,your whole persona, give em what you never was

Being different gets you nothing!, So I started doing what everyone one else does!!

Go where I want to go and Just tell them what it is that they want hear!!

I WAS wishing I could get paid for doing that, I would of made  it my career!!

I had some much and was so happy but I lost the most important thing

I suffocated myself with Jae ,I smothered my soul,I silenced the song I used to sing...

Since then I have loosen the noose  from being my own entity

Finding the person I used to be , recovering my lost identity....

At least I thought I was  on my way out of the woods of deception

With the pressure of my life right now it  made me have a lapse in self-perception..

Only time will tell how things play out this time around

Im going through it with myself and by myself, I dont need a rebound.......

Im not going to supress or even  deny who I am any longer

Because being Jae Breeze is a part of me and my life, being him makes me STRONGER..........