THE CASE OF TREATY

Reginald foster was sitting on the back seat of the car and James was sitting beside the drivers seat. The driver was driving at a speed of 120km/hr. “The case seems very serious”, said Mr.Reginald. James said,” Yes sir, it’s a very important case but I am unable to solve. Headquarters have told me that if I am unable to solve the case then they will cashier me from the department.”. James continued,”You are the only one sir who can solve the case and save me”. Reginald laughed. Reginald is the retired police commissioner of police of the Federal police. Reginald had solved many case just by observation and imagination. James is like a hungry leopard, once he gets the information he will be able to find the crook. Reginald asked,”Tell me briefly about the case, don’t miss anything.”. James started saying,”Sir, last year, a treaty was signed between Russia and Germany which contained some information which can change the trade relation between these two countries. If countries like USA, India, etc. gets to know about the treaty then you can very well understand that it would not be a good sign for both Russia and Germany.” James continued,” One year ago, the treaty was stolen from the safety room of the Bundestag, it was assumed that someone from the parliament had done it but after several interrogation nothing was found sir. One week ago, I fortunately got an information that the treaty is with Mr. Shelby Hermes.” Reginald asked,” Then what’s the problem James, everything is clear. It seems like that it’s an open and shut case.”. James interrupted and said,”No sir, now the twist comes”. James continued,” After interrogating Mr.Hermes, he confessed that he had stolen the treaty from Bundestag but the problem is”. James hesitated a little and then again continued,” According to Mr.Hermes, he had kept the treaty in his vault but when he was about to sell it to a spy of London, he found that the treaty is missing from his vault” Reginald said,” He is making up stories to prove himself innocent” James then said,”No sir, at first I thought the same thing but even after giving him third degree torture, he didn’t change his statement and I am very sure that he is telling the truth. Reginald whispered,”The robber has robbed from another robber’s house, strange”. James continued,”Sir, please help me to find the treaty otherwise I will be cashier from my designation” Reginald said,” calm down James, let me think”. Reginald continued,”Can you take me to the first crook’s house.” James said,” Yes sir, we will be reaching there in just twenty minutes, it’s in Hamburg”. Within twenty minutes we reached the crook’s house. It’s a three storeyed house. The house was fully furnished, no one will ever suspect the owner as a crook.  James took me inside the house to meet Mr. Hermes. The house magnificent from inside. Every facility was in the house which only a rich man can afford. We entered a big room with was probably the drawing room. Mr.Hermes stood up after seeing James coming inside. Mr.Hermes said,” Good morning Mr. James .”. James didn’t answer anything, he directly introduced me and said ,” Mr.Hermes, my sir will interrogate you. Don’t dare to hide anything from him”. Mr.Hermes agreed. Mr.Hermes said,” Mr.Foster, just before  two weeks ago, a briton spy had contact me and had offered me ten million dollars for the treaty. As usual, I agreed to the deal. That very night, I opened my vault to take the treaty out of it but I was just shocked Mr.Foster. The treaty was not there. The vault was totally empty.”. Mr.foster asked Mr.Hermes to give him the vault. Mr.Foster went to the third floor to bring the vault. In the mean time, Reginald asked James,” Did you ask the forensic department to search for fingerprints of any other person”. James replied,”Yes sir but the forensic department verified that there are no fingerprints of any other person except Mr.Hermes”. Reginald said,”It means that the other crook had stolen the treaty from the vault while wearing gloves”. Reginald asked,” Are there any other member in this residence?”. James replied,” Yes sir, there are twelve servants and Mr.Hermes’s wife.”. Reginald said,”I hope you had interrogated all the members”. James nodded his head up and down. Reginald didn’t ask anything more.They both were silent until the arrival of Mr.Hermes. Mr.Hermes handed over the vault to Reginald. Reginald opened the vault, for around one minute. Reginald observed the vault and then quietly returned the vault to Mr.Hermes and said,”Can you kindly give me an empty room to interrogate” Mr.Hermes understand. Reginald elaborated by saying that he wants to interrogated everyone in the house one by one. James looked quite disappointed.Mr.Hermes asked Reginald and James to occupy the living room for interrogation purpose. As soon as Reginald and James set foot in,James said,”Sir, I had interrogated everyone, don’t you trust me?” Reginald said,”No James, I very well know that you had interrogated them properly, you are one of my best officer my dear, how can I mistrust you?”. Reginald sat on the given chair and said,”I am not at all going to ask them a single question.” James was about to say something but was put to halt because of the arrival of Mrs.Hermes. Mrs. Hermes entered the room as the first person to be interrogated. Reginald asked a strange question.He asked,”Where is your home town Mrs.Hermes?”.  Mrs.Hermes hesitated at first then replies,” I am from Italy sir, my father is a real estate agent and my mother is a housewife. Reginald observed the women very carefully. She can be compared to the William Shakespeare’s fictional character Portia.The woman has beautiful blue eyes, skin white as milk and personality of a royal princess. Reginald than asked,”Ma’am, Is your father’s name is Jack Sorey?”. Mrs.Hermes said,” No sir, my father’s name is Jimmy Jackson.”. Reginald said,”You may go now Mrs.Hermes”. This way Reginald interrogated all the

members of the house even Mr.Hermes. James had lost his bright and glory face after the interrogation because Reginald didn’t seem to find any clue to proceed the case. After the interrogation both James and Reginald left the house and get inside the police jeep and was on their way to the police station. James asked Reginald inside the car,”Sir, did you find any clue?”. Reginald didn’t answer anything. James was sad and whispered,”This is the first case which  Reginald Foster couldn’t”. After reaching the police station,Reginald asked James to order tea. James ordered the servant to bring two cups off tea. Reginald after sitting on the chair of police station said,”I didn’t tell you anything in the car because I didn’t want the driver to listen our conversation”. Th servant brought two cups of tea. After drinking the tea, Reginald started again, he said,” I have solved the case now it’s your time James to workout and interrogate the culprit”. James was surprised and was about to fall from the chair due to excitement. Reginald smiled. James controlled himself and asked,”How did you solved it sir?”.After taking a deep breathe, Reginald started telling,”When I opened the vault which was given by Mr.Hermes, a familiar smell hit my nose. It was the smell of Vera Wang princess, I hope you know it very well it’s an expensive perfume used by females. This essence indicated that the crook is a lady. This is the reason, I asked Mr.Hermes to allot me a room for interrogation.  I hope now you understand the reason of the interrogation.”.James nodded his head up and down. Reginald continued,”The first person whom I interrogated was Mrs.Hermes and I was shocked to get the same essence from her clothes which I had got the vault. This made me to suspect Mrs.Hermes but I didn’t understand the Moto of stealing the treaty. So, I noticed Mrs.Hermes’s face. I hope you know that I had studied many books on facial expression. James again nodded his head up and down. Reginald continued,” Italians are very sophisticated and they always take care of their beauty by wearing gloves, wearing full sleeve clothes, always keeping a handkerchief in hand. Although Mrs.Hermes was beautiful but didn’t wear any gloves, she wore a typical shirt and pants. I hope you very well know that this type of dress is worn by only few countries which includes USA. The most important is her hand, they were rough and had very hard texture. This kind of texture is seen in a woman’s hand if she lifts heavy guns and pistols”. Overall I was very sure that she is not Italian but American and works for the American Army. To know her background,I intentionally told a fictional name of her father so, that she would tell me his real father’s name, and I was right she told me her father’s real identity. Nobody in this world whether he is a crook or a spy fakes his parent’s name and occupation. I hope you will be able to solve the case and the treaty. Interrogate Mrs.Hermes and search the identity of a woman in USA whose father is real estate agent whose name is Jimmy Jackson and whose daughter works for the army.”. Reginald said,”No need to drop in my home James, I will takes the bus to Munich. After all I am a civilian now. Reginald was correct, after interrogating Mrs.Hermes, she confessed that she had stolen the treaty for the American government. She married Mr.Hermes to steal the treaty and give it to the American government and in Washington, Jimmy Jackson was found. He told the police that he is a real estate agent and her daughter works for the American government but didn’t come home one year. This information made the German police to believe that Mrs.Hermes was really American and went to Germany as a spy. The treaty was finally seized from Mrs.Hermes and returned it to the German Bundestag. James was praised by the German government but he knew it very well the case was solved not by him. It was solved by Reginald Foster, A person who never retires.

Author's Note

Please give comments

Reviews

[NotUsinganymore]

Interesting piece. You had goot detail!

[JayG]

You asked for comment, and what I have to say isn’t about how well you write or talent, but this will sting, so take a deep breath.

First, while the writing is done from the seat of the author, the editing must be done from that of the reader, who has no context but what you evoke or provide, who has no idea of your intent for how they should take the writing, and has only the meaning the words suggest to them. Add to that, the only hint as to HOW to read the story is what punctuation suggests, and they don’t see that till after they’ve read the line.

Bearing that in mind, look at the opening as the reader will.

• Reginald foster was sitting on the back seat of the car and James was sitting beside the drivers seat.

“The car?" What car? How can there be "the" car when we know on none? And: where is it coming from, and where is it bound? What year is this? What country, and city. Who in the pluperfect hells is Reginald Foster, and why does it matter where he’s sitting? Unless the reader knows that the words are meaningless as they're read. Sure, you know. So do the people in the car. Shouldn't the ones you wrote this for be in on the secret?

Think about it. Would the story change in the smallest way were their seating position reversed, or were one of them driving? No. So why waste a single word on where they sit? Does the speed of the car matter? No again—especially as we don't know where they are, who they are, or what's going on.

Why does that matter? Because every line that doesn’t meaningfully set the scene, develop character, or move the plot serves to slow the reading, while serving no story function. Never forget that movement isn't action. And as the great Alfred Hitchcock said, “Drama is life without the boring bits.” So chop the boring bits.

And at this point, I have to ask: Have you not heard of the paragraph? Each change of subject, or speaker requires a paragraph break, to warn the reader of the change. Without them, in addition to losing an important aid to the reader, the lack of breaks means that if the reader loses their place it’s far harder to find it again.

• Headquarters have told me that if I am unable to solve the case then they will cashier me from the department.

Have you actually looked into how police departments work—how detectives investigate and their responsibilities? You must assume that the reader knows, and never make up details of someone’s job.

Bottom line: You’re trying to use the writing skills they’ve given you in school to write fiction. But you can’t. All the reports and essays they made you write taught you to write a report. But reports are nonfiction. Use those nonfiction skills for fiction and it will read like a report. No way around that. Someone we can neither hear nor see is talking about things in a voice that contains very limited emotion.

To hear what a reader does, give the story to someone who knows nothing about it, and ask them to read it to you. Be aware, though, it will be a humbling experience.

The skills of Fiction-Writing, like that of all professions, are acquired IN ADDITION to our schoolday skills. It’s VERY different in approach and methodology from the writing skills your schooldays gave you. But if writing fiction is your desire, you’ll have to dig into, and master those skills.

For an idea of how different they are, you might look at a few of the articles in my WordPress Writing blog. They’re written for the hopeful writer, to help with that. (address at the bottom)

For where to find those skills, Check the fiction-writing section of the library. Better still, the best book I’ve found on the basics of the profession is available for download, free, at the address below this paragraph. Copy/paste it into the URL window at the top of any internet page and hit return to get there.

https://archive.org/details/TechniquesOfTheSellingWriterCUsersvenkatmGoogleDrive4FilmMakingBsc_ChennaiFilmSchoolPractice_Others

So…was this what you hoped to hear when you posted? Of course not. But you did ask, and it is what every writer needs to understand, so, I thought you might want to know.

The good news? It’s not hard work when you’re learning how to do something you want to know more about. And the practice is writing stories. So what's not to like?

Do dig in. And while you do, hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/