The great fall of 3:29

The great fall of 3:29

A Story by Jamie

This is supposed to be through the eyes of a thirteen year old.


     Jenna smirked as she pressed my hands to my chest. I fell back rapidly, but every second seemed like an hour. I could hear my mom screaming and my dad yelling. Whatever help they called, it would be too late for me. I was plummeting off the side of a cliff with seconds to spare. How did my life come to be like this? Was it because I took a sip of dad's coffee when I was three? Was it because I washed my little brother, Andrew's, toothbrush in the toilet? No. It was because  was careless and choose a girlfriend who cared too much about what I was and not who I was.

     I remembered the miracle day Jenna asked me out. I was so excited, I thought I'd kill myself. Then, on our third date, I finally got the courage to tell Jenna about my family's financial problems. I still have the image of the frown twisted onto her perfect face.

     How disappointed was I when my mom said I could bring one friend to our family trip. How tears rolled down Griffin's face when I told him that this year I was taking Jenna to my family trip. How we argued and now, I would never get to say sorry. How my grades dropped like a bomb after I started dating. I was selfish, all I cared about was her, when I should have kept my mind focused on the whole problem. I would never get a chance to set things right.

     I wanted to smack myself. But then, I realized the branch that was about forty feet below me. The aligning was perfect, as if someone had just reached out to give me a second chance. When I reached it,  clung on with both hands. I was too young to die like this. I deserved another chance, didn't I?

     My arms were screaming, wanting to just drop out of their sockets. My body dangled off of the cliff face, and my legs were scrambling to find a place to stand. As if magic was real, the branch breaks and I feel to find myself plunge onto a column in the cliff.  I smiled, the column was big enough to support a big ox. Then I felt pain. I looked down to see the skin scraped off of my ankle, which was twisted in an odd direction. My knees buckled beneath me and I fell down hard.

     It's been a few hours, at least I think. My watch was caught on the branch and snapped in two when I fell from the branch. It's getting cold, I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. Then I hear it. It's a chopper.

     They've come to rescue me. I can see a man in a bright orange suit, holding out his hand. But the hand I see is not his scarred hand hidden in a glove. It's a bright hand. The color is a healthy peach and it seems so holy. I can't bear it any longer.

     I reach out for the hand. But I know that I'm not meant to live. So as soon as I feel the warmth and comfort of it, I close my eyes and let go. I plummeted, the ground rushing to meet me.

     When I was on the cliff, I had some time to resolve my life. I didn't have any particular talent except for acting, but I knew that it would fail me as soon as  tried, just like the branch. Hot tears are welling out of my closed eyes, I can hear my mom screaming and wailing inside the chopper. You would think this moment if violent and not at all peaceful, but I was smiling.

     My dimples showed. I hugged myself to conserve my last few scraps of warmth before I hit the floor. I feel an impact. A pain soars through my body. My breath knocked out of my lungs. My breathing turns into shallow, panting breaths. My eyes are still closed, I didn't dare open them. My body jerks and shudders before it goes still. I feel warm and safe. The light of my soul has been comforted and is no longer the hard, cold coal it was before. I smile as I reach the skies.

And what's the time I died?

3:29 P.M

© 2011 Jamie

Author's Note

The science in this passage is probably not accurate. I just wrote it all don as soon as I got the idea.

My Review

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I really love the action and tragedy of this story. The end is depressing though, a great read. Keep up the good work!

Posted 11 Years Ago

Sweet that was very creative like the ending even if it was in a sad sort of way. But nice job everyone has portraying the human mind as it is about to take an impact at death and must say you did a marvelous job. Keep it up.

Posted 11 Years Ago

it's good and spontaneous. the word spontaneous just seemed to suit this story for random reason. what i would have liked is more information about his life, i think that more description would have benefited it. one thing i didn't understand though was the first sentence, perhaps you could explain why she did that. she pressed his hands to his chest. she pressed her hands to his chest seems correct.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Added on January 15, 2011
Last Updated on February 7, 2011
Tags: adventure, saddness, suffer



Katy, TX

I like the the supernatural, unusual, weird, original, undescrible things in life. more..

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