Feelings

My childhood was not a happy one. It was not one I could ever brag about. Living in a country like India, many kids don't get happy childhoods. They ususally have to compromise a lot of their own wishes and dreams. 

Who was I to be different. Life was never a bed of roses. I suppose it wasn't meant to be. But what happens to a 6 year old girl who sees her parents fight. For her their small little family was perfect. But then the fightings and yellings started.

She finds her own father starting to despise her. For a girl, her father is always her number one supporter. Her superhero. But for me, this never came true. I always had a bittersweet relationship with my father. Maybe edging a little more to the bitter side. I was never enough for him. He never appreciated my hardwork in school. He never praised me for my good grades. He never clicked my pictures in my school play like other fathers did. Nor was he there when I was bullied by my classmates. NO. All he ever did was complain about how it took his money to pay the school fees.

Honestly, sometimes I feel that maybe if I hadn't been born, then maybe my papa would not have been so bitter and emotionless.

He teased me cruelly for years about how I failed an exam. And literally told my younger sister, " Don't be a failure like your sister ". 

I don't know how many nights I have cried continously revisiting these memories.

I am not a popular girl. I have acne problems. But that doesn't mean that people can think that they can step over me without me minding it. I may not have friends and i may not be social. BUT I HAVE FEELINGS.

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