James Franco Fanfiction - SHORTS

I was challenged to write a James Franco fanfiction and so I did

The hue of the television flickered against my frame while I remained curled inside of the burrito blanket, that had been a gift from my ex-boyfriend who was really into Mexican food. Sure, I was looking at the screen but I no longer processed what was happening, Scarlet Johanson played another POC role and while she dilly dally around her straight romantic partner, I picked up the controller to raise the volume.

Hopefully her smooth voice would drown out the thoughts. Why couldn’t I have been born a lesbian? Ugh.

My tongue flickered out and I tasted the stickiness of birthday cake ice cream, the spoon propped against the side of the tub of the ice-cold treat while I felt more tears come down my face, my head falling back against the pillow.

I know I had been stupid! Of course that man was suspicious, his name was Craig Smithereson for God’s sake! but how was I supposed to know that he was none other than James Franco? The scene where he removed his fake glasses (with no lenses) and I finally realized played once more in my head, and I wailed loudly. My neighbor, Thomas, had knocked on my door earlier to ask if I was okay because he claimed he thought he had heard an animal being strangled- I gently explained that it had been me being strangled by the cruel fingers of heartbreak, and he apologized before leaving me alone. 

I stood up, the empty candy wrappers crinkling underneath me and the controller banging against the floor loudly. I brought the tub of ice cream to my refrigerator and slid it inside the freezer, shutting the door and peeking at my terrible reflection. God, I looked gross. Even all blurred like this against the inox, I looked like actual s**t. 

Walking over to the pantry, I picked up my macaroni to start preparing another bowl of comfort food: Mom’s Macaroni and Cheese with panko on top. BTS’s Dynamite started playing from my phone, breaking my trail of thoughts and forcing me to do a little dance as I walked over to the gadget, picking it up to see Nicole’s name displayed.

“Hey Girl, Heeeey!” Her chipmunk voice came through. “I’m taking you to a partay so get readay. Uhm, I had to do a LOT to get you inside this super exclusive birthday bash, so please don’t embarrass me if you’re still crying over Jamesson Francolleon. I mean, we both know this would happen, right?” She snorted a laugh, and it almost made me tear up how thoughtful she truly was. Thinking of me when she was already so overwhelmed with this party.

“Oh… I think I’m not in the best mood for it but… you can go without me, bestie.” I tried my best to hide my crying voice, measuring out the pasta.

“Nu-uh! I’m picking you up in thirty minutes girlie, so you better be wearing something short, something flashy and of course absolutely gorg!” Nicole was one of those girls who would ignore negativity in her life, and that included negative words such as ‘no’.  

She’d stare at you with her bright green eyes, widen them so much they’d almost bulge from her head and her smile would reach her ears. With a condescending tone she’d part her teeth, like the cheshire cat, and she’d go “What do you mean, bestie?” Nicole would lean closer, and everything would feel like a blur; before you knew it, there you were, being positive again. She was such a queen.

“You know I can’t say no- I mean! Okay, okay. I’ll get ready.” 

The phone went silent for a moment, all I heard was her heavy breathing, and I was ready to get yelled at until she chirped:
"Okie dokie! I’ll see you in 30!” and hung up.

I stared at the phone in my hand at the fading screen, and at the cup of macaroni I had just filled. There was no point in arguing now, I couldn’t leave Nicole hanging, as much as I’d love to just sit back down on the couch and chow down absurd amounts of cheese.

Took me ten minutes to take a shower, wash away all of the make up gunk, tears and ice cream from my face. I used a glittery lotion to keep my skin smooth and shimmery, it smelled strongly of champagne and strawberries, so it was my favourite because it reminded me of the time I dated a cop and he would always bring me gifts from the police stations that they had apprehended. One of them ended up being some Champagne bottles that we popped over strawberries and made love to Post Malone’s new album.

When it came to clothes, I picked a skimpy, velvet short dress with shiny stones on the spaghetti straps. I was feeling powerful, with Katy Perry blasting on my speakers to the tune of Dark Horse. I felt like the hottest woman alive when I looked at my sculptural body in the mirror, my long and thick legs, my skinny and small waist but with my huge breasts almost jumping out of the delicate dress. My tiny feet were manicured and fit in a pair of high heeled shoes, I was ready to conquer not only the world but specifically other men who were NOT Craig, nor James Franco.

Nicole sent me a message, telling me to come down, and when I did it wasn’t hard to spot the car she was in. It was filled with other girls, all of them blond and hot like her, which made me feel shy and uncomfortable. I bit my bottom lip nervously as I entered the car, hitting my head on the car door from just how clumsy I was, and once I was inside I sat on Nicole’s lap, though, my huge b***s were pressed against the driver’s seat so it was as uncomfortable as the time my mom found my d***o collection.

The position was painful but I held it in, since the party wasn’t so far from where we were. In fact, it was in the next block over. I wondered why I had even entered the car full of women just to ride a single block, but I supposed it was all part of the ‘i am empowered and over my man’ experience, so I let it slide, even when I felt Nicole’s sharp nails poking at my back when she typed on her phone.

The vibes inside the house were a bit off, but I felt like they were just right for me. The heavy smell of cigarettes and weed, mixed with the acidic scent of vomit and the screeching of girls made me feel at home. Well, not really at home, but as close to home as I could. 

My mother used to be addicted to alcohol so it did feel like a typical friday night, just with more people and underage drinking.

I sighed as I was the last one to enter, following behind Nicole who kept typing eagerly on her phone. I walked past a pineapple vape cloud and only then noticed how hazy that house was, I wondered if there was a smoke machine, or if this was just from powerful juuls. The house was entirely lit up by colorful LED lights, furniture had been pushed closer to the walls to give people space  and those inside would cluster in awkward groups.

It always amazed me how enough substance abuse made people less judgmental and more open to new experiences. The alternative goth girl was taking the quarterback to a room and he followed like a puppy, on all fours. There was the school cheerleader with Zachary, who had won the math triathlon last semester, making out heavily next to the ping pong table, where a jock was losing to a twink. I felt like at any moment I’d see Bear Grills coming from somewhere, armed with a machete and screeching at me about mother nature while hiding inside the carcass of a young adult he had just slaughtered.

“Sorry, Sorry.” A guy apologised as he bumped into me, making me forget all about my observations. I looked around and realized I had lost Nicole, so instead I made my way to the kitchen where I hoped I’d find some food. 

“Oh, s**t, Lilah?” Called a voice, and I figured it was all in my head, so I kept making my way to the kitchen until a small silhouette blocked my path. “Ayo, never thought i’d see you in a place like this, girl!” I squinted my eyes and identified that this voice came from Trevor, who had rebranded himself as T-bone since he started his rap career. I still remember when he told the class that ‘being white wouldn’t stop him, just look at Lil’ Peep’, no one had the heart to tell him that his songs were trash, so now he carries his mixtape everywhere. 

“I’m trying out new things.” I said, but he couldn’t hear me, so I shouted next to his ear. 

T-Bone nodded his head a few times, scratching at his patchy beard with his free hand, while the other held a purple colored liquid. He wore pants twice his size and a tank top showing off his slender arms, he had a new tattoo done of a spongebob showing his asscrack. Called it art. 

“That’s cool, that’s cool.” He said, looking around. “So uh… what new things? Like drugs and stuff?” 

“No, I’m not into that kinda stuff.” I answer, absent minded. I was looking for a familiar face to save myself from that situation, because the other option would be to pretend I had fainted, and that could lead into T-Bone trying to wake me up with a true love’s kiss.

“Oh, s**t, girl! So you experimenting with girls, yeah? damn. You a freak like that?” He called, grabbing at his pants and poking out his tongue like a lizard. If this was a nature documentary, I think he’d be those pesky but funny lizards we see, with his dangly arms and icky tongue, running around like he’s the king of the jungle. I squinted my eyes at him once more, then raised an eyebrow and chose not to answer.

“Yo! Nicole is making out with James f****n’ Franco!” I heard a shrill voice call out from the backyard. 

My heart leapt to  my throat. It couldn’t be. T-Bone was saying something but all I heard were my ears ringing, my legs moving on their own to the source of the commotion and when I arrived at the very big backyard, I spotted her.

Rather, the two of them.

I felt like throwing up the entire pound of ice-cream I had gobbled before coming here, my mouth went dry and my eyes filled with tears. Not because I was sad, which I was, but because the smell of chlorine was really strong. 

Before I could control my actions I strutted towards them, people moving away from my path with their cameras as I found the two lovebirds and I gripped their hairs with my hands, pulling Nicole away from my sweet prince. Of course he wasn’t at fault, because although a queen, she was a beautiful s**t. I too would’ve cheated on someone with Nicole- but nonetheless I fought them both. Franco was the first to splash onto the pool, people giving shouts and screams, cameras flashing. 

Me and Nicole were gripping each other's hairs, her cheap extensions were coming off and in a swift movement I threw her towards the pool, though her cat-like nails sunk into my arm and brought me down with her, and we toppled to the ground, rolling towards the chlorine bath.

“You’re f*****g- what the f**k, Y/C?” James shouted, getting off the pool and finding the two of us, latching at each other like snakes in a battle to the death.

He managed to hold me back and pull me away from her, I was the visible winner of this fight, Nicole with her makeup smudged and her busted lip. I had beaten her to a pulp, and still had more fight in me to keep going if necessary.

“Don’t f**k with me, you piece of s**t!” I screamed at her, but in between sobs it probably sounded like gibberish. I hated that I was an angry crier, because now I looked not so hot, and very distraught. I yanked my arm from his grasp, huffing and removing my shoes as I started to walk away from this party, back to my house.

I heard footsteps after me, but didn’t turn to look. “Why are you here?” James shouted after me.  Stopping on my tracks I hesitated, bit my bottom lip and tasted blood as I turned to him, tears welling up in my eyes. 

“Because you’re not Craig! I mean! You’re James Franco! You lied to me!” I said, my body shaking with anger and anxiety because I was raising my voice and that was scary.

“I thought you knew all along, all I was wearing were fake glasses.” He approached me, holding my shivering hands and bringing my blood soaked knuckles to his lips. “Baby, please… I love you so much.” 

I looked at him, his big doe eyes staring me down while he stained his lips with Nicole’s blood. “Please, Y/N, please… come back to me. Nicole was- she told me you hated me so much. She kissed me against my will!” 

Taking in a deep breath, I nodded my head. Nicole didn’t sound like the type of girl to do that, but then again, if he had said ‘no’ she wouldn’t have liked the negativity. My hands moved to cup his neck and I pressed my lips to his, smiling. Of course I’d take him back, that was James f*****g Franco! His firm hands moved to my hips and I smirked when we pulled away.  “Do you… wanna have a pyjama party?” I asked shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“God, yes I do.” James whispered, his thumb brushing my bottom lip before we parted from the party, holding hands and walking over to my house which was just a block away.

He might be imperfect but he was mine.

My beautiful James Franco.

Author's Note

let me know what you think!