nightmare of passion

nightmare of passion

An unknown presence emerge,uttering few chosen words,
drawn in by your unfaithful eyes.The way you move
Intrigues me to see the lust that hides. 
Every emotion flickers like untamed flames 
every touch becomes pure satisfaction,almost ever lasting. I sit calm while my lust is on it's edge,you move like a snake 
with no sign of stress.As your steps gets close,your eyes hides Pandora box you are unwilling to expose. 
I almost let you swallow me whole,a stare so ice cold,heat this passion as we watch the flames grow.A faint warning to leave, a seduction that robs my speech, 
silent as I may be, every breath echo's deep. 
a cage made in thorns,as you watch me bleed,I want more, no I need more. 
Fallen for greed,give me my voice, I need to speak. 
Your web of lies , insanity and danger, 
I know what is beneath this disguise, shall we take of these shallow masks? 
And take a pass on the mystery and lies,deep fear and change of roles 
The secrets I hide in depth, throws you into the unknown. I can feel how every string has lost its powerful grip, I whisper, fear has its own sweet taste, I take my leave before the curtain falls,I hear faint whispers, while I walk in this dark hall. 
The whispers written on every wall. I wait for your return,as I will watch the king of thieves burn.
king of thieves.....
It sends chills down my spine, my own devil from inside, hidden from all,yet you gaze with those eyes.You see the past that never dies...

I respond....

Wait for me demon king in disguise, my return is one your own soul will truly dispise.....

Author's Note

A poem about a nightmare i had last night. I hope you can get a better understanding of this dream then i can! enjoy ^_^

Reviews

[GlacialStars]

Wow dude! Awesome poem! I've read the reviews and I don't agree with some of them. I personally wouldn't take this as a short story because there isn't much of a plot in there but a poem yes! You got the metaphors and the imagery maybe not the rhymes but you can say it's a free verse poem although that doesn't stop your writing from being beautiful.

Dude your poem is very very beautiful! I had to stay on the end of ,my seat because every detail and every word was said so beautifully that I was consumed into the extravagant beauty of it all. You have no idea how passionate I feel about this poem! And I feel dumb because it seems like I'm the only one who feels this way but I was touched by your poem nevertheless.

If you succeeded in translating an image into a written form and made it sound this good then I too want to have that nightmare...Great job dude and make sure you keep writing! Y___Y so...beautiful -sniff-

[jamal]

Thanks dude! your review means a lot! :)

[fiery-san]

This a more chilling version than the last and I like the improvement actually, it gave the poem more transition towards the end which made the poem more structured and connected. Good job. ^_^

[jamal]

Thank you fiery that means a lot :)

[Con O'Clast]

This is some neat writing. I've been trying to carry a dream journal myself recently but I struggle to get it all down on paper but I think this is an excellent template. You've described the imagery but also the emotions and on a deeper level there's a real insight into whats going on behind the scenes here. I'm going to take a leaf out of your book in future. Well done man.

[jamal]

Thanks! :) im happy you like it.Your words were much appreciated :)

[Notthatkindof doc]

Ah cool. For future writings, you might want to work details like that in so the reader is clued to the significance. Good work so far.

[jamal]

thanks for the advice i will remember it for sure :)

[jamal]

thank you for giveing me such nice idea! :)))

[fiery-san]

Quite dark... passion and lust blending into a flurry of emotions... nicely done. It makes me truly wonder if it's a nightmare or just one very strange dream. ^_^

[jamal]

Hehe thanks you. I wonder that myself xD didnt know what to think after the nightmare.... Well atleast it became a good poem :)

[Notthatkindof doc]

Very good dark imagery. I like the sexual tension that never exactly takes a physical form. That is good writing. I will admit you lost me at the end. What is the reference to the "king of thieves"?

[jamal]

Thank you :) Its an old nickname my friends gave me when i was younger.

[}Echo{]

Wow.. Nice.. This is was really good. Very interesting... Great write though. :)

[jamal]

thanks Adriana :)

[}Echo{]

:)

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

What a nightmare it was. You put me right into your dream, and it seems there wasn't no way out. This is an awesome write, dark and disturbing as it may be, but it's truely stunning.

[jamal]

Thanks you Greg :)