What Always Happens

...it was only a matter of time...

I want him so bad

My heart yearns for him daily

And yet when I look by my side he isn't there

There really is no need to wonder why

No need to question

I already know the answer

 

It's because of me

It's all because of me

It's always because of me

I'm the reason he leaves

The reason for the fights and pain

I'm the reason I'm all alone

 

He found out the truth

He saw my faults

He found out my secrets

But unlike the others he didn't turn away

He said he wanted to be the reason I smiled

He wanted to show me that I can have so much more

 

When we first met he saw pass my smile

When we first kissed he sensed the pain

And when we first touched he felt all my insecurities

But what he didn't know

What I couldn't say

Would be the reason for all the pain

 

Everything went smoothly at first

The butterflies in my stomach seemed everlasting

The glow on my face looked like it would never fade

But then he said those three words

Those words tha make normal girls go wild

Those words that suppose to make the heart grow warm

 

But it had a complete opposite effect for me

My mind went numb, I started to lose feeling

Then suddenly it got harder for me to breathe

The fact of the matter is that it's a feeling that I simply can't return

A feeling that I don't know how to feel

A feeling I vowed never to feel again

 

He couldn't understand why I couldn't try

He couldn't grasp why the pain I felt made it impossible

He just couldn't see that what he wanted I just didn't have

And yet he still tried, still he stuck around

He thought all I needed was time

He thought patience was the key

 

But slowly deep inside it was killing him

It took everything he had to stay

And I didn't make it any easier for him

So I did what I had to

I did what he couldn't

I walked away

 

It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be

Part of me didn't want to go through with it

I began to think that maybe he was right

Maybe the pain inside would fade

Maybe I'll begin to feel again

Just maybe time is really all I need

 

But that didn't last long

I couldn't lie to myself anymore

I couldn't act like this was merely a phase

I am who I am

What I feel inside is unlike any other

Forever to me is simply a dream

 

The truth of the matter is I wasn't good enough

He deserved much more than what I had to give

The more he tried the more pain he felt

And yes I do miss him

I'm not gonna lie I still think about him at times

Bt nothing has changed, everything still remains the same

 

This is what always happens

Reviews

[Carrie.]

It's a good read. Nitpicks, "pass" should be "past", "tha" should be "that".

I like reading your work, but I see this potential that you haven't tapped into. Try adding structure to your pieces, just my advice.

-Carrie.

[jay-lyse]

thank you!!

[Namuh Niffa]

i like this poem alot. the concept flowed and kept me goin.