The Eulogy of a "Man"

A Story by Jayden Ireton

I am sorry to see all of you here at church today, sincerely. My name is Pastor Justice Impendi. We are gathered here today to “mourn” the passing of one Rick Mala. I was the last visitor before the passing of Mala; he preferred to be called by his last name as many of you know. I asked him in confidence if he was saved or had anything on his heart that he needed to share before he passed. Mala told me “I got a few stories to tell you Pastor; get ready to be amazed”. He smiled widely very eerily and started the story. Pastor I have done many bad things so I will just tell you a few of the worst; I am not sorry for any of them. I am actually quite impressed with myself. I will not take the blame for other people’s mistakes being in my life. Pastor, one extraordinary night I went to the bar with a couple of rough characters and there were some girls there having a good time. I decided to buy them some shots. One of them came over; a pretty blonde thing and said thank you. I offered them to join our little group for an impromptu party. She graciously accepted and they joined us in a night of intense drinking that left the bill in the hundreds. I told the women to go out to the car with one of my buddies and I’d pay all of our bills. They obliged and I went up to the bar with the ticket and told the bartender I think he wrote some numbers wrong; there was no way we spent in the hundreds. He said “I got it right.” I already knew he did. I unzipped my jacket which held two concealed pistols and said I think we are going to call it even; do not make any moves or raise your hands. With that I backed out of the bar walked to the car and we drove off with the girls with no one knowing the wiser. It takes me back to that night just thinking about that man’s terrified eyes. Good times. Anyway we went to one of my buddy’s houses and kept on drinking late into the night. Once everyone was in a good mood, I asked if anyone wanted to get crazier. All my buddies were down and a couple of the girls were; everyone but the blonde one that thanked me for the drinks. I pulled her to the side and sweet talked her. It amazes me how a few sweet words can make someone let down their natural guarded instincts. She finally agreed and I pulled out the baggy of ecstasy and passed the bag around so everyone could pull one out. Everyone put it in their mouth and swallowed besides the blonde; once again just a little hesitant, once again a little sweet talk. None of the girls had ever had ecstasy so I knew we were in for a treat. We all planned on getting some tonight from these dumb bimbos. Everything was going good; a few even slipped off into beds until the blonde and I were left. I started kissing on her and she was being a real drag so I handed her a drink and said drink this real quick it’s important to hydrate while doing ecstasy. She drank it obligingly. I laughed inside because it had a dissolved pill in it. I started flirting again and was getting somewhere when she said she had to use the bathroom. She was taking forever so I went in to check on her. She was on the floor not moving. I grabbed her face and slapped her, nothing. I reached into her pocket took her money and things, kissed her face, grabbed her breast and walked out of the house. That girl died because she listened to a stranger. What an idiot. I am quite proud of my abilities to disarm.

At this story I was completely shocked and he could tell; it made him smile. He said “oh Pastor we aren’t finished I have more to tell you.” I was glad he was still talking and revolted at the same time but I was speechless. All that I could think was I am sitting next to a murderer. May God’s mercy cover this poor young man. He continued, “I got HIV from needles of heroin a few years ago. I loved the high and even today I think it was worth it. Once I found out I had it, I decided to play a game with God. I never had much faith in a governing entity in the first place. Why would a perfect being create something so imperfect? If it was for amusement he wouldn’t be a good God and if He didn’t mean to He was not really perfect. So I played a game. I wanted to see how many people I could hurt and if this God would stop me.”

I couldn’t hide the horror on my face. Once again he smiled at me; a deadly stare, an unnerving uncaring demonic smile. He went on; “I started to go out to bars to pick up girls. It was pretty easy since I am a charismatic man. I kept bringing girls home drunk and would sleep with them without condoms. I wanted to spread anything I could. I would get them passed out drunk and then inject them with needles. I wanted them to be infected but if they got lucky and weren’t I wanted them to be addicted to that sexy w***e heroin. I did this to over 200 women and not once did a God stop me. I didn’t keep up with all the girls but I know those stupid girls that couldn’t even keep their panties on in a bar wouldn’t be able to fight the kick that heroin is. I sincerely hope every single one of them got HIV.”

He looked up at me and said Pastor do you hate me right now? I said “no, son God has a plan for everyone.” He said “one more story Pastor before you say God has that plan.” I told Mala no; I don’t need to hear him brag about his escapades anymore. I told him God forgives him all of his sins if he confesses and asks for Jesus into his heart. He laughed at that. He said “I will see you at the funeral Pastor.” I left and here we are now. I know you’re wondering why I told you this story. This was his life and you usually talk about the life of the deceased at funerals. The difference is I won’t skip over the bad parts and call him a good man. I won’t ignore everything he did and make you all feel better with lies. God wouldn’t want me to do that. I want you to know he didn’t accept Jesus and he was proud of what he did. He said “screw this God if he was real he created this.” I feel sorry for his soul burning in hell. I don’t feel sorry for being honest; not every man is good and it’s time we address that fact instead of glossing over it all the time. This world is not all sunshine and the more we act like it is, the more men like this will have power. Let this be a lesson to those who came into contact with Mala. I know none of you are family because he said he had none so I can only assume he owed you money or you were in business together. Trust me; he is paying the ultimate price. I truly hope this speaks to you. May God bless the livings souls.

When I got home all I could think about was that eulogy. This man who I barely knew who told me those horrible things had scarred me. He had me questioning my very own beliefs for the first time. I was raised knowing there is one true all powerful God. But this man showed me a side that made me question if he was all powerful why would he let us have the apple? He knew what we would do and He didn’t stop it. What sort of horrible neglect is this? A God that would let us drift away and would let us destroy ourselves without stepping in isn’t an all merciful God it seems. Why was he extending mercy to this sociopath? He should have been struck down years ago. This sociopath had played a game with God and he had won; destroying many lives. I walked down to the corner liquor store, walked in and grabbed two bottles of whiskey. I paid, walked out and opened one right there on the sidewalk as I walked home. I was buzzed by the time I reached the door. The sociopath’s words were haunting me. Out of nowhere I laughed hysterically. I just realized his game. He had gotten his last victim.

© 2013 Jayden Ireton

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Reviews

Imara

I love it. Mala is perfect. Well maybe that is not quite the right word for him, but that is what I can come up with for the time being. He remind me of a precursor to the Joker. Doing evil for evils sake. This is the type of man that I tell many Christians when we argue theology.
Let me just say you have amazing flow a great ability to tell a story and keep the reader engaged the entire time. I am in true awe.
For Mala I found myself in true hatred of him but also in a slight fear. What if this charismatic man had tricked me? The pastor, he is the man who supposed to be this ideal man the "good" man he was so easily brought down just by knowing a man like Mala exists.
I do, sadly, have a critique. It can get confusing to see who is talking who is telling the story. On the first reading, it's clear that it is the pastor retelling what the Mala told him. It's the end when you say "when I got home..." I don't know how it is for others but it made me think that a member of the auidence was speaking but I understood after backtracking for a second.
again amazing work!