Shame on Me

Shame on Me

A Poem by Joshua McNay
"

I can't keep falling into the same old traps. I will never be healthy or happy if i can't fix the problems internally.

"
I'm afraid I have hit a bit of a wall,
I look in the mirror and I haven't changed at all.
I poured out my emotions, and let everyone see,
The real pain I hide because of the overweight me.
I have fallen right back into the same old habits,
From soda to pizza and ice cream, I'm right back at it.
I was doing better for a surprising length of time,
I've fallen again, and the fault is only mine.
How many times can I keep saying the same thing?
Ok this time is different, false words start to sting.
I am better than I allow myself to be,
What is it that I lack to really change me?
I have support of family and friends this time,
But I am letting them all down, one bad choice at a time.
Using them as an excuse, shameful,
I am only letting me down if I am truthful.
The reasoning is becoming more alien to me,
I hate what I see, so why can't I change me?
Is there a fundamental flaw, holding me back?
Something preventing me from overcoming what it is I lack?
Do I need to sit down and talk to someone?
Writing things down is nice, maybe I need some one on one.
Because I can't, I just can't keep doing this that's for sure,
My words have essentially become something of a hollow gesture.
Like the boy who cried wolf, again and again,
When it's real, who will be around for me then?
The prospect of being alone with this, scares me,
If I don't actually do something constructive, alone I will be.
My fate is far from sealed, I can still change it,
I just need to put some real effort into it.

© 2016 Joshua McNay


Author's Note

Joshua McNay
As always review if you like. I always love to hear your thoughts.

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Featured Review

You write very fluently,in that you use everyday language to put your point across. Your love of rhyming shows a high degree of thought and effort in your style of portraying emotion. So despite your closing linesJoshua; you are constructive
.Learning to love your strengths is the path to overcoming your fears.
Keep writing!!

Norman

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

WOW!!
You let me enter a world full of emotions.
I don't know much about writing poems.
What I know is that in any piece of writing you should touch the readers heart, and make them be for more nd believe me you have done way more that that. goo job and keep it up!!:) *-*

Posted 2 Years Ago


I don't know fuckall about writing poems so I can't give you advice but......I'm a McNay fan*does a happy dance*

Posted 3 Years Ago


Nice! I love it. Good rhyming, for me it is. ^_^ Write more! He he.

Posted 3 Years Ago


This is only my opinion mind. Forget about losing weight and beating yourself up over it. ONLY the mind can be beautiful and unlike mere looks, that beauty can hold. Life is waaaaaaaaay too short.
I bet if you focused on poems and stories that helped and inspired you would feel great about yourself. Throw yourself into that and good things will happen. Only my opinion mind.
You like to rhyme. I'm a fellow rhymer ... I guess it's in our makeup. Sorry to score only 50. But I know that you have the potential to write a masterpiece ... go on ... you know you want to :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


The rhyme scheme is amazing.Nice flow and I enjoyed reading.
Thank You for sharing with me .

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You write very fluently,in that you use everyday language to put your point across. Your love of rhyming shows a high degree of thought and effort in your style of portraying emotion. So despite your closing linesJoshua; you are constructive
.Learning to love your strengths is the path to overcoming your fears.
Keep writing!!

Norman

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a very emotional piece, the lines "I am better than I allow myself to be,
What is it that I lack to really change me?" really stuck with me as I feel this way all the time, in fact the whole poem speaks to me on several levels. It's beautiful and well written , well done, keep up the brilliant work friend XxXx

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joshua McNay

3 Years Ago

Thank you! I am happy you enjoyed it. I can't really say I enjoyed writing it but it was liberating .. read more
Hi, good work Joshua. Stay away from that pizza! ha ha.

I thought the start was light, the rhymes work perfectly and it flows well. I feel a bit like this is two poems as it changes somewhere in the middle and becomes darker, more frustrated.

I would love to read more of the first half!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joshua McNay

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the review! I think it got darker because as I wrote it, I got more down. Happy it came a.. read more
A lot of the time, the first step to overcoming problems is to admit that they exist. Everyone feels shameful sometimes, but we can't give up on ourselves. Just putting "some real effort into it" is exactly the cure. Good luck, Joshua. I hope you can pick yourself up.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joshua McNay

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the review. Finding something to make me put effort is oddly difficult, but I am worki.. read more

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Added on March 31, 2016
Last Updated on March 31, 2016

Author

Joshua McNay
Joshua McNay

Grand Junction, CO



About
I write about a Little Red Fox, I hope you enjoy his adventures as much as I do! Thanks for stopping by and as always thank you for reading! Featuring art by Emily Chan, be sure to check her work o.. more..

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A Poem by Joshua McNay