Oceans Heart for DJT

For D.J.T. from my longing heart, Wherever you are, we're only oceans apart.

Waves are crashing but your voice is what I hear,

Winds are blowing but your embrace is what I feel,

Weather is hot but I feel your warm,

Through the sand, I feel no harm.

Your existence created ripple effect,

Your love created a huge depth,

Your words brings everlasting peace, 

like the ocean that made me feel at ease.

In a sea where you left a mourning heart,

I still see your brightest smile,

Hope we had that chance to say goodbye

Before the waves pulled you down,

Like the ocean,how I lost you was a mystery

How infinite it is to think of our memory

Though ocean waves set us apart

You will always be in my heart.

Author's Note

what do you think of it?? This is for my brother.

Reviews

[Goulden Bean]

This is a very heartfelt poem, and you overall have a nice rhyme scheme going through. Some of the rhymes don't really land though. For example, on lines 3 and 4, "warm" and "harm just sound too different. Plus, the meter doesn't always flow. For example, in the second stanza, it feels rather choppy. However, in the end you still deliver the emotion you are looking for. By polishing the meter and rhymes, you can sharpen that emotion even more!

[thepisceanconsole]

Thank you . I will take note of this for my next piece :)

[RhythmOfTheRiver]

Wow... It's awesome, for me, I am really inspired by this [I am a beginner =]]

[thepisceanconsole]

Thank you I'll go read your piece too :)

[Abigail]

This is really sweet and touching. Good job.