The Over-analysis of a Relationship

Where have all the good boys gone?

Are they hiding behind trees?

What happened to I love you?

It faded quickly like the breeze.

Birds have more feeling and more loyalty

than you who leave me waiting, wondering.

Tell me not to worry,

so don't make me worry.

Don't drive me to the well and drop me in;

that would be unkind.

Pacing like an expectant father without cigars;

not even cigars.

You have no idea who I am, but I want to tell you.

I don't know you, but I want to.

Loving longest, she was right.

We do, this fairer sex.

Why not come out and play; are you grounded?

Hypocrite, lover, doctor, friend;

what are we to each other?

Do I have rights to you; may I demand?

Or am I the other woman only?

Do you have a right to play with me?

Did you get what you wanted from me?

Are you like your friend after all, sweet?

I want to know you, so let me.

Don't be afraid, be a man.

Let this woman love you.

She can love;

she knows how.

Author's Note

Any and all opinions and criticisms are welcome.

Reviews

[Chris T.]

I like the "big picture" behind these words. Many of the questions, seemingly rhetorical, still had me thinking, perhaps "over analyzing", relationships I have experienced. It was well done in that regard.

As far as constructive criticism (all opinion as a reader keep in mind:)

I'm not sure "birds" are the best for this comparison. Perhaps you were trying to transition from the "breeze/wind" idea, and it would make a little bit of sense in that regard, but I don't really associate birds with feeling or loyalty, either possessing these traits or lacking them, at all.

The first two lines, which I absolutely love, don't fit with the rest of the piece as far as who is being addressed is concerned. It went from "boys" to "you". I'm not saying consider changing it because I really do love the first two lines, but just wanted to point out that it caught my attention as inconsistent.

[Deranged Kiwi]

I really enjoyed this piece. You had a strong beginning and an even stronger ending. even after reading it the third time in a row, I still enjoyed it.

Welcome to WC, can't wait to read more of your work. I think you've got something :]