Addicting Destruction

In the narration of a teen boy, finding love in a girl who is troubled.

“Ricky where are you going bro’?” Johnny shouted to me as I headed toward the door. Dismissing him I walked out of the lobby of the beaten down hotel, where Johnny never locks his apartment door. I was enticed by her dark drown hair being pushed around by the wind, which was whipping through the air. Goosebumps instantly rise up on my arms reminding me that I left my jacket on some crappy couch in Johnny’s apartment.

“Alex!” I yelled trying to get her attention.

My heart stopped when she did; I could faintly see the cloud smoke as it rose up from her exhale. Hustling over to her I realized how foggy my brain had gotten, Johnny’s stash always seems to do me in.

“What do you want Rick?” She asked, her tone soaked in bitterness.

Even with the harshness in her tone, I could see past her dark eyeliner, thick drags, and studded leather jacket. Inside, Alex was hurt, she just had too much pride to tell me.

“Come on back inside Alex.” I tried feebly to coax her back into the apartment, partially because I would rather have this fight with her inside where it’s warm. Instead of acknowledging me, Alex took the lighter out of her pocket and re-lit her blunt.

“Alex.” I tried again, this time putting my hand out. For a moment I imagined us kissing, here, underneath the big pale moon, the taste of smoke lingering on our mouths.

“I can’t stay here Rick.” Alex whispered, partly to herself, but it was enough to pull me back to the present.

“Yes you can.” I said, “C’mon, the party’s waiting for us.” I knew what she liked, and reminding her of the highs was always the best way to go with Alex.

She took my hand and we headed back to the party. I know what you’re thinking, and let me tell you, you’re wrong. Alex and I are not dating, she’s not the dating type. Alex tugs open the door and warm air encompasses us for a minute. “Man was it chilly out there.” I say. Alex stares blankly forward, I nudge her with my shoulder, hoping for a smile to peak across her face, she shrugs.

“Yeah…” she says, but I know she’s not here. She’s someplace far off, someplace deep inside her head; I know that feeling, she’s in the crash. A door is slammed open and bodies are flung into the wall; I’m not surprised to see Johnny among them, with a handful of girls clinging to his side. “Ricky! You made it!” he yells at me enthusiastically, he’s high. I crack a smile, shake my head and hurry to get Alex and the rest of the crew back inside before anyone hears too much. The clock is ticking towards 12am and we’ve only just gotten started, no point in asking for a buzz kill, a manager or someone to find out what’s going on down here and put an end to it.

Johnny’s speakers are screaming through the room, and you can barely see through the smoke and strobe lights from one side of the room to the other. I pull Alex down with me on the couch; I already know exactly what she needs. I find some littered on the coffee table, the white pills to make you fly, soar straight up, and never come down. Drinks are everywhere, bottles of all kind lying around the room, and Alex’s blunt is now in the ashtray. I pick up a stray pill and a half-empty glass of whatever concoction Johnny mixed up tonight and hand it to Alex. “Here,” I say placing it in her hand. She looks at me, a grin forming at the corners of her mouth, “Thanks Rick.” She says before popping the pill and washing it down with the golden liquid in the glass.

It’s not long before her jacket comes off, her tank top showing off her slender figure, even her shoulders are thin, her skin taught, with freckles scattered here and there. Alex is reclined on the couch, eyes closed, she’s enjoying the ride. Somewhere in the mix, I get passed a bong. I dig for my lighter, find it and light up the thing. I recognize the guy next to me, Derek Strati, the quarterback of our high school’s football team-The Panthers. After my first hit I pass it back to him, and back around it goes. The tingling in my arms begins, it’s always in my arms first, then the rush to my head, and everything in front of me gets turned up to lightning speed. When it makes it’s way back around I watch Alex take a hit from the bong like she was made for it. I follow her lead and take the next hit feeling Alex’s eyes on me as I exhale the smoke from my nose. I glance at her and find wild in her eyes. She grabs my arm “Let’s dance.”

I let her peel me off the couch and lead me into the crowd of bodies. I didn’t notice that she was wearing a skirt until now, it’s short and tight in all the right places. We make it to the middle of the crown and I feel her back press up against me. I get a taste of her scent: a mix of smoke, sweat and sweet perfume. She’s like a serpent, the music moves her body, like it’s the one in control. The bass thumps through the floor; the people dancing start to condense into one another, making the oxygen limited, and sweat starts to dew on my forehead. Somewhere in the crowd I spot Johnny, hands all over some tiny blonde as usual.

Dancing normally isn’t my forte, but with the weed nestled into my system, and Alex next to me, there’s no place I’d rather be; I’m the dancing king. That’s what drugs do to you; they make you feel special, superior to everyone and everything around you. You’re insecurities fade away and so do you’re problems, no wonder why people say they’re addicting.

A hand snakes around my waist, and she presses her body into me; I look down expecting Alex, but I’m wrong, it’s another girl. A girl with red hair and red lips moves in to kiss me. Before it escalates further, I push her away and slowly peel her off of me. “C’mon, I know you like it.” She says to me but all I’m thinking about is Alex. The girl c***s her head to the side, “Who are you looking for?” Then it dawns on her. “Oh, you’re friend? I saw her a minute ago.” I’m suddenly interested in what the red head has to say.

“Where?” I ask, heart pounding. The girl, who I later found was named Allison, points me in the direction of the kitchen. Dizzy, I stumble through the crowd, pushing people aside so I can make it out. I round the corner to the vacated kitchen and my heart stops when I find her.

Alex is splayed out on the floor, her hair fanned out around her.