On Being Afraid:

A poem about fear in three parts

End

How long does it take to be done

With the world

Do I want it to end

Do I want it to end me

I cannot end it

Or can I?

                  Insecurity

Sit up straight!

Hot cold sweat, sleeves down, over hands

Show your smile

Eyes on the floor, head tilted down

Show me watcha workin' with

You see me running away

Because I don’t have what you seek

What any of you seek

And if I did

What would you do with it?

                  Anxiety

Vast oceans of leather belts

Entangle my stomach

And leave me stranded

And strapped in for the ride

I can’t breathe

I’m going to drown

The belts get tighter

Closing in

A snake squeezing

Every last sweet breath of air

The cold wake up to my lungs

That I desire

Is out of reach

because my ribcage is being crushed by a symbol of strength

There’s not an escape

Inside, my heart beats

In my fear, in my heart, in my ribcage

In my violently shaking hands

I try to normalize my voice

And my body

But I’m just so tangled up in this mess