Pallbearer Poetry

Pallbearer:
Casket Carrier: a bearer or escort of a casket at a funeral or burial.


I.
When I was nine,
my abuelita died and
I could not cry.

My abuelos had given away my mother,
the way you give away a blind Chihuahua.
Instead I licked my fingers,
when no one was staring
dampened my eyes,
so I could fin in with the mourning.

My cousins and I carried her to the altar,
she was smiling, a red rose, and the rosary
weaved in her hands.
A golden pin that said,
“mom.”

Later in the week of her ascension
my mother and I took a walk
through the garden of los dejuntons.

Beside my abuelita’s grave,
my abuelo had been buried,
an MP in the army, a veteran of Korea.
I only knew him through historias and fotografias.
He was always holding a cerveza.
I stared at his grave,
with its one
withering rose.
Mommy why, mommy why did you give me away?
Damn you damn you.  I’ll never understand, but,
I forgive you.
Rain began to fall.

The scream echoed through the cemeterio.
I found a silver pen buried,
it’s ink bleeding,
I put it in my pocket with San Antonio,
and the pallbearer’s rose.  



II.
When I was sixteen,
my padrino was burned to death.
When the flames started,
he saved each member of his family,
until the hot water heater
covered him
in a blanket of
Steam.

He feared god like no hombre I have ever known.
He praised el cielo
until his wife pulled the plug from the life support machine.
He had life after the fire,
and had survived heart surgery.
Just yesterday.

There was knock at the kitchen door,
his brother,
my cousin,
asking me to pin a violet to my pocket, and help carry him.


I have a notebook,
A place to remember and write
His music and songs.

I remember sitting in Templosion
Assemblies of God----
He played the guitar every Sunday---
Singing
Alle alle luia
Singing
Alle alle luia

Amen.  

 

Reviews

[henrie s]

true, this was very sad, but so effective. the last few lines were haunting, and were able to be so because of how you'd set them up. i think it was a wonderful thing to read this sunday afternoon.

[Angelheaded Hipster]

You drew me in from the very beginning....it was simple in its telling...but I hurt for the person who had to go through this, to ask those questions...
I liked this a lot.

[Autumn Twilight]

This was so sad. It was a good read, just very very sad.