My home Sweet home!

Still me alone in mid 40s, 

want to have home, husband, kids. 

For any marriage both girl and boy should love, 

whether it may be seeing each other, no commitment needed

whether to go for dating then you both must be decided to get married with a commitment

for arranged marriage both should like and love later

I was 30 yrs i thought very late to marry

but later whom i was looking for wedding is the man which God shown and found him after wedding. 

then i thought he cant live without me, i crossed the boundary and waiting still.... now turned to 40s. 

Still people are not allowing me to get married to him, and my man too stuck with volcano, people did what 

they took away us to that mountain of volcano, we are bandhi over there, is she thinking he can f**k any time not allowing me to lie with him, 

I feel like what i am not knowing, 

should i continue life,  wait for him, i am not knowing what to do

why he is stuck over there, who is stopping you, i know people are only stopping me 

i dont know what i left with 

people hurting my head then i took a placebo, now hands are hurting someone is biting my hands, because i lost torture in my head

Why god is testing my patience, 

god is helpless

what help we need from God, when we have technology, support strength, what else we need?

people should hav ethics, that she already even with him, why cant she leave him for me. 

Yea i can wait, now my parents are supporting, later after them my son will take care of me. 

So i end up with ogling at his body without a relationship, which is only known to me, 

how considerate God is with me.

I am confused now, did she hurt us even after death.

No, after death your soul is free she wont be in any body making feel the ego protection of brain system. 

physical brain stops getting hurt through physical pain, emotions and negative thinking, when you can with hold all this you are in ultimate joy. That is the God itself. I think after death she will never hurt, 

Jessy Jacob