Whereby Explain These Feelings

This is a poem that I first wrote when I first started into an open relationship. I am a man, married to a woman, and have fallen in love with another man

Whereby explain these feelings

All bottled up inside

What type of person am I

Ashamed I am, I Hide

Honest to the world 

I wish that I could be 

Eliminate my stress

Free for all to see

I lust for all these feelings

I know I shouldn't want

Howbeit they are present 

Intriguing is the hunt

A friend is all I yearn for

To fill my hungered greed

Affection, sense and thirst

Plus each and every need

Most ventures I took on

Uncovered most the same

Disappointment and denial

Playing a little game

An exception one has been

Perfect in every way

But a problem there will be

It isn't here to stay

Affection, sense and thirst

Is wanted by them too

Added the commitment

Of which I can not do 

To love I promise not

Offer up what I contain

Another has my heart 

And that she will retain

Attached I might become

A little scared I'll be

For what's to come of it

That we'll have to see 

A toll it takes on marriage

Why's she not enough

I wish there was an answer

Something not so tough

She said that I could do it

Her idea from the start

Experience joy and pleasure

Find yourself that part

Out of love and obligation 

This choice I felt was made

For what else could she do

Me she could not swayed

Her jealous intuition 

Planted deep within

Started leaking out

Her marriage to defend

I see the hurt inside her

All rooted in her eyes 

The agony I've caused her

Every time she cries

As Narcissistic as I am

Completely thru and thru

A Famous quote is evoked

"To thine own self be true"

To live happily ever after 

I pledged to her, I know

Forsaken this I have 

It's began to show 

A promise I can give her

Forever, I hope we are

And History it'll become

And maybe leave no scar

Author's Note

Please be kind... I'm not asking for criticism, but advice on what to do.

Reviews

[ReedWrite]

It is sad that in our society--our world--we cannot be who we were meant to be. Sometimes, we are one person trapped inside...trying to fit into the boxes society says we're supposed to...yet regardless of how hard we try, we don't fit. You don't have to be gay to feel that pain...just different. As for your situation, you have choices. Do you honor the commitment, knowing it's a platonic love at best, and will never satisfy the needs inside you? And ultimately, it will never satisfy your wife's needs, either. It will always be a half-empty glass. Do you come out of the closet, knowing that you risk your marriage, children, friends, job, life-style? Coming out will lift a terrible weight from your shoulders...yet all things come with a cost...and there is never a promise that the life you gain afterward will be any better. In my mind, if it were me, I would choose to be who I am...regardless of the cost. Even if that meant I lost everything. However, no one knows your situation better than you do...so you have to weigh the pros and cons and then choose. I would say the first step for you, is acknowledging who you are...how you are...and learning to accept that, and love yourself...because you are someone worth loving...you are a beautiful person. Only when you come to terms with that will you be able to make a viable decision of where to go next. Just my humble opinion. Hugs.