BUSINESS

Inspired by ten simple words provided by A tovli's Ten contest...

BUSINESS (2^nd Version)

By: JB Murray © Nov 2010

 

 

Her eyes give way

This stale-breath evening

Dread inside

She turns the doorknob

Says goodbye, sweet child

Hiding shame for a price

He’ll leave her

Disheveled and broken

She’ll curl up

In whispers

Of who she swore she’d never be

Author's Note

This is a revised version, edited and cut short for the specific contest it was entered in... the extended version can also be found on my page, I hope you'll take the time to read and possibly review both... thanks! And as always... enjoy!

Reviews

[Tovli]

sorry to be so long in stopping by with a comment.
not exactly a prose poem--but still a really nice, concise piece. tovli

[beautiful disaster]

you amaze me every time I read your pieces. There is always a part that I can unravel and you are a beautiful writer.

[Helena]

Wow, this was terrific my friend! Tovli's ten does tend to inspire one I find, that's why it is so popular with the poets. I did enjoy this well crafted poem. Thanks for sharing with us.

[angelina neves]

wonderful way to incorporate de words!