Freedom

Written july 2011 Aberystwyth university residential week Free verse

Remote, alone, dying

dying without realising, wanting to live

wanting to be free, wanting to fulfill you're life.

 

A phoenix, beautiful, exquisite, free.

Its flamed broadened wings elegantly gliding through the burning sun, magic.

A path, just like any other path.

A path that anyone could dream.

A door, A sky, A cloud

Leading off into the mirage of life, freedom.

 

A glistening oasis, tempting your eyes.

Taking you to your wildest dreams.

Forming lights in your eyes, lights in your soul

lights in your wings, like a phoenix.

Author's Note

any constructive feedback welcome :-)

Reviews

[Seshat Nidaba]

This was the best I've read from you yet, you dance very near cliches, but here it couldn't matter less.

I believe you are at your strongest when you write in this open-ended breathtaking style.

[Mauricio Montoya]

This piece defiantly fits the title to let one’s self to absorb what life has to offer.
Excellent write.

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

it's kind of positive even thought it starts not in that way .. i felt like it was romantice, dreamy , wishing , hoping , wanting ...
I really like your words...
and the journey ..nice poem :)