The Fine Art of Bullshitting

Now if you think bullshitting is not an art form just take a look at the past presidential race and you can see openly just how important this art form is to the politician who must, through long hours of intense study, become a master of his trade.

 

The canvas of promises he paints and displays openly before his admiring throng in all it's beauty is truly amazing. His glib tongue deftly laying stroke upon stroke across a broad canvas, he forms the contrast and conflict of his opponents deep shadow juxtaposed his very own brightest of light . . . while the layman postulates himself before the Master and stares upon his canvas of dreams.

It seems the only time you get the truth, or even an honest opinion from this breed is to listen to these people AFTER they leave office. Generals, Senators, all the way down to the local yocal member of the school board are so steeped in spinning bullshit during their career you just can't trust a word they say.

Obama knows the art form and used it well. He is a Master at his trade. Obama's emotional work centered on hope.

McCain, a Master in his own right, chose a different emotional theme for his canvas. McCain's centered on fear.

More people responded to hope than fear so Obama won the bullshit (tell them what they want to hear) session in spite of the fact most people who voted for Obama probably instinctively knew he couldn't keep most of the promises he had painted for them. They were, in the light of current events, wishful thinking at the most.

I personally believe he will be far to busy just keeping the ship of state afloat after the disastrous last eight years of George Bush to do much else. Hell, man we will be lucky to have a monetary system at all by the end of next summer, let alone enough cash to do anything much to help the poor and needy middle class in this country.

So how does this all pertain to our personal survival?

A man who understands the nuances of bullshitting can and will survive longest among his fellows. He knows it is far easier many times to convince an enemy than to kill him, especially if he is out gunned and outnumbered.

He knows instinctively if he practices faithfully and becomes an adept, the sky is the limit.

He knows a good line of bullshit and a glib tongue can get him shelter, water and food even when outnumbered and living amongst his enemies. Even when facing certain death the true and fearless artist can sway his captors into his camp by merely corralling them with his tongue.

A great bullshitter has to be in charge of his own mind. He must be intelligent and wise to the ways of man and of the world. He must not just control the room, he must own it. People must love him. They must look up to him. Want him to lead them. He must be a chameleon shape shifter able to capture the essence of a rainbow for them. He must like the apostle Paul “be all things to all men.”

The greatest, the most satisfying, the loveliest words that the truly masterful bullshitter can hear is for his following to say with heart felt conviction.

“Our leader speaks the truth.” . . . . . .

Reviews

[Jason]

How true is this? Isn't most of what we all encounter and hear on a daily basis some sort of bullshit? I mean, something as simple as calling out "sick" for work to just get a day away from the place you go to deal with other's bullshit. This is right on so many basis, and yet so many fail to realize the simple truth behind it. Well written and well stated. I really enjoyed this read, and really liked how I can relate to it's core values. Excellent work.

Jay

[Lee]

Greetings, Jim, from the coastline. This is a well-written piece and 'right on' the money. Had you the time and nothing else to do after pulling your teeth and nails out with the new needle-nose pliers, you could describe each of these weasels. But, I like the 'pullin' out' thing instead.
Very good pace, descriptions, and quotes and illustrations. Nice work. Keep smilin'...Lee

[cest la vie]

I love this breakdown of bullshitters. Sort of like you can't bullshit the bullshitter, or the player got played..

So direct, in your face and damn honest. That ain't no BS either..

[Sheila Kline]

EXCELLENT write of truth if I ever read it, and you aren't bullshitting me! Our so called leaders have us so indebted to them that if we even start to question their ideas, we might cringe with fear at what might happen if they turn against us! Well, they are already against us. Mr. Average Joe, (6 Pack) included is just too dang fooled, and delusional to realize it.

Keep speaking the truth as you join with those of us who are also voicing objection to such ludicrous practices!!

WRITE ON........

[Lizanne]

Mr. Bullshitter you should have ran for president. We are now hip deep in it. We will all be scrounging around looking for something to eat. Our nation is rapidly being destroyed by our leaders and the don't rock the boaters are over filling the life rafts without helping to row. We will sink faster due to them. I admire your writing. You speak the truth and do it well.

[deeps]

IT's kind of funny but it's not!
The fine art of A bullshitter is the bullshitters art work to twist the truth and make it into a lie.
I know a few people like this. Very well written and stated.